The Ultimate Truths; This guy is frikking CRAZY!

Hello all, and an early Happy New Year to the Blue Devil world!

In a fairly quiet, empty campus game today the Blue Devils welcomed Loyola Maryland to Durham, and wackiness ensued! Wackiness, and coaching anger unlike anything we've seen since Angry Gary.

* The Ultimate Lord hates anything with the name "Maryland" in it. This includes "The University of Maryland - College Park," "Loyola College in Maryland," and "Maryland Crabcakes."

* To the home of the Crazies... except these aren't crazies. That will always anger The Ultimate Lord. Maybe they should not schedule games when there are no students around.

* Hm, Loyola is confident, eh? You know what usually happens to confident teams when they play Duke? They get whipped. Just ask Xavier.

* Patsos is a former Maryland assistant for ol'Sweaty? Well, he should be fine with the Crazies; he clearly has had more obscene things yelled at him before.

* The home whites look REALLY white, especially around the shoulders. What is different about these unis?

* Jesus, Patsos yells like Sweaty too. Wow. He looks like an absolute crazy man. Coached from the stands? You know ESPN is going to be cutting back to him a LOT this game for Ye Olde Reaction Shotte!

* Love the full court pressure/double with Smith and Singler. Singler's smarts and length really help as the courtside help.

* Zoubek's height really alters shots and even prevents them from happening. Very nice to see.

* The Ultimate Lord wishes they would add a big screen TV someplace in the museum display that is the Cameron concourse now which would fade from an empty beautiful shot of Cameron to a rocking gameday shot.

* Gaylord Hotel Music City Bowl? Seriously? They must have very popular hats in their gift baskets.

* Capitol Bowl Week for the Outback Bowl... they sold sponsorship to the entire WEEK?! Why not sponsor each day too? Or the afternoon and the evening? "Welcome to the Outback Bowl, here at Capitol Bowl week on Tostitos Tuesday here at the Trojan Mid-Day Slot!"

* Nice to see Miles early. Nothing teaches like game-time experience.

* Holy Christ, Coach Wacko is ready to KILL that guy on the bench! Check out that Finger Point of Doom! It is like he is Harrison Ford or something, just a LOT angrier.



* Nice roll by G.

* The button on that coat was stretched to its limit. That dude is straight-up crazy.

* Len's teams that can take out UNC... Gonzaga? Seriously? Suck it, Len.

* Hell of a layup that Loyola player made over a skying Gerald.

* Oh Nolan... hope you are okay.

* When the ACC sends TEN teams to bowl games, there are too many bowl games.

* What a dick applause by Patsos.

* Great save by Paulus as he hopped out of bounds to save the ball and tossed it back in, and then came back in again.

* Of Len's Five Early Surprises, we play them five times, with a double against Michigan and no game vs. Illinois. We always play a damn good schedule.

* The Ultimate Lord heard that Patsos originally considered pulling the Curry-Double-Team on Briand, but then gave up on it when he realized even FIVE men couldn't stop ONE Zoubek!

* Only two Rookies of the Year at Duke? That is crazy! The Ultimate Lord supposes that must have something to do with K loving upper classmen.

* Man, the ESPN truck cuts to Patsos Reaction Shots a LOT... clearly they are hoping for a Faith Hill/Carrie Underwood moment.

* Why did they show that depressed emo kid after Hendo's basket?

* Who is the guy in the lime green shirt on the Loyola bench? He is awful dressed down...

* Man. Hendo is the easiest elevator in Duke history. And he doesn't even lead with one hand like most dunkers; he gets up there with both hands and his shoulders free and able to react in a way that few other players have ever been able to. Just totally effortless.

* Jon has played at the point a bit recently with Greg at the 2. This is okay with The Ultimate Lord.

* Surefire sign of previous suck; every single time Zoubek scores the announcers rant about how much he has improved. Tho to be fair, he REALLY has.

* Scheyer is simply tireless. VO2 Max FTW!

* Loved watching those two Loyola guys run smack into eachother when Kyle threw it down.

* ... and Kevin Bacon went to Maryland too! Enough with the stupid degrees of seperation.

* Dude, Patsos LOVES to stick his finger in a guys face. Fifty bucks says someone goes Spree on his *** within five years.

* Our D looks great, but their O looks sloppy as all hell.

* Ahhh so glad the ACC season is coming! Fire it up!

* Winbush. Heh heh heh.

* Our bench is awesome. Thomas is SO improved, Paulus is an amazing backup, and McClure is solid as a ROCK. Add two pretty decent frosh, and you've got a good team. Too bad Marty still chucks up 3s.

* Look at K talking to Scheyer as Scheyer squats in front of him... sorry, but The Ultimate Lord would react a lot better to this than to the Crazy Gary Clone on the other side of the floor sticking the Harrison Ford finger in his face and spewing spittle.

* Speaking of Marty, he does look older.

* Love the high arc on Lance's shot. Makes it hard to block and more likely to bounce back into the hoop.

* Okay, that LL Cool J commercial is awesome. "Ahhh!"

* That PG, Harvey, who Greg gave that forearm shiv to, looks like a 38 year old accountant.

* No losses from '83-'95?! Jesus!!

* "(Curry) never took a shot except when he shot 3 times!" Right.

* "(Patsos is) till working that sideline." Yeah, like Hitler worked the crowd in Berlin in 1939.

* Nice giveback from Singler to McClure, telling him to shoot that open 3. Speaks for good chemistry and smarts by Singler to get the other guys involved and confident.

* Are the dorms closed over break? And what hotel are the guys staying at?

* McClure's father played where? Where did THAT graphic come from? It isn't like he was high school teammates with Wayne Ellington, after all.

* No on mentions Lawson and Smith were teammates. We hear about Gerald and Wayne seventeen times a game... why no Lawson/Smith connection?

* Len says keep the starters in until about 2 minutes left. K keeps them in for about 30 seconds more. K > Len.

* Their PG, that #31, is skinny as a STICK.

* Olek is dreamy.

* Ol'Captain Crazy is still pacing that sideline yelling like a Gary with 3:20 to go. Was it just The Ultimate Lord's imagination, or did a few of the players look like they were totally ignoring the guy?

* Looking forward to the NBA announcers doing a Duke game! Too bad the real crazies won't be back yet, right?

* Both Plumlee parents played college ball... what is with all the Parent Player graphics this game?

* Email is SO good at finishing within a foot or two of the basket; those long arms really help.

* And finally... what was that little Paulus/Crazy Coach exchange at the end, where Patsos seemed to say "Thank you?" Okay, The Ultimate Lord hates him a little less now.

And with that, allow The Ultimate Lord to wish everyone a very Happy New Years... next up? A real ACC game!!!!!!! WoooOOOOOooooOOO!!!!

The Ultimate Truths - RIP Kenny George

Hello all, and welcome back after THE DAMN LONGEST ELEVEN DAYS OF OUR COLLECTIVE LIVES!!!!

Well okay, maybe not THAT long, but man the exam period blows. The Ultimate Lord wonders if it is different at a place like Memphis, where they don't actually take exams? Zing!

Anyway... nice to be back, because such a long layoff after a loss leaves a LOT of empty time, empty time that is generally filled with booze and Grant Hill videos. But finally Duke is back, and so too are... THE ULTIMATE TRUTHS!

* Argh; hate the empty, Christmas Crazy section full of old people. Those aren't Cameron Crazies... those are straight up Alzheimers crazies.

* Speaking of hate; The Ultimate Lord HATES Len Elmore's tooth-filled mouth!

* Also speaking of hate; Happy Holidays everyone!

* No Kenny George sucks. No; forget this! The Ultimate Lord WANTS Kenny George, and The Ultimate Lord will have Kenny George!

* WHOA starters! Nice move by K to get them fired up after 11 days off. Wonder when he told the guys who was starting? Did he wait until game day to give the starters some real fire, or did he tell everyone early on, so they had time to get used to the idea? The Ultimate Lord would go with the "tell them five minutes before tip" move.

* Emails first move... yikers. Kid will be good.

* Nice block by Kenny George. GO KENNY GEORGE!

* Good spacing to start against the UNC-A pressure.

* Miles is quick on his feet for a big guy.

* John Williams; the best ever. Better even than Danny Elfman. "The Imperial March" is The Ultimate Lord's WWF entrance music.

* Love seeing Greg hit a few early 3s. Can't imagine he will match last years numbers, though.

* A few empty seats in the upper deck; it is too bad that more local UNC-A fans couldn't get in and use those seats last minute.

* Shame about Steph Curry and that junk defense from Loyola that kept him scoreless... just lowers his PPG, which we want NICE and high as he attempts to take that NPOY from Hanstravel.

* Nice to see Kyle hit his first 3 too.

* Jesus, Gerald's elevation is SICK. Might he have the best ups of any Duke player in history? He just gets so high, and his body stays so in control... between his two handed catch-and-dunks, and his crazy elevations for blocks...

* Dammit... seriously, saving the ball and nutmeging Zoubek with it right to an opposing player under the basket?

* Woof, scary dancing Medusa coming back from commercial. Will she join the Crazy Towel Guy and Viking Guy as a Crazy regular? Blech. Kentucky gets Ashley, we get... Dancing Medusa.

* You know, The Ultimate Lord wishes they would do a Duke alumn game. That could be SO much fun to watch. Maybe as a charity?

* Hendos midrange jumper is still MIA.

* The pretty back door pass is always a beaut. Right up there with the teardrop and the jump hook!

* A nice trick for those cold winter nights: fill up a long, hopefully unused tube sock with about 3 cups of uncooked rice, and a dash of lavender oil. Then rubber band it all up so you cannot have a spill. Twenty minutes before going to bed pop it in the microwave for 2 and a half minutes, and then put it under the covers where your feet go. Instant warm feet for bedtime!

* Nolan #1 on threes? No kidding. Honestly, The Ultimate Lord likes his stroke and stance, even if it is a little goofy footed.

* Speaking of threes... apparently tonight is a "live by" night.

* Wow, GREAT consecutive blocks by Kenny George! GO KENNY GEORGE!!

* Speaking of Kenny George... after he is done with school, could he find a job as Larry Fishburn's body double?

* A little between the legs showboat by Nolan. Good.

* What is with the one guy in the red shirt in the student section? Must be a Maryland prick.

* Into the bonus real early in the first.

* BTW, does anyone out there have any good punch recipes out there for a fruity, sherberty, extremely alcoholic holiday punch? And no, it does not need to include bacon. Anyway... please share!

* What is with the Pizza Hut Panourmous ad where they pass around the box but never show the pizza? Something is suspicious here... you never actually see the pizza next to anything you can judge its size by... The Ultimate Lord bets it is like six inch square. What crap.

* Oh no... it is Bowl time. Or should The Ultimate Lord say Lowe's Bowl Time? Brought to you by Tostitos! And brought to you by Mazda... zoom zoom zoom! And brough to you by Kay Jewelers... every kiss THE ULTIMATE ***!! ARGH!! It all started going downhill when the Bond films well total sponsorship.

* UNC-A seems very unsteady with their dribble tonight. Lots of bobbles by everyone... except Kenny George, of course, whose behind-the-back move was something else! GO KENNY GEORGE!

* The Ultimate Lord does not think the walk was the right call on that UNC-A guy who did that cute little spin.

* BTW, what is the UNC-A mascot? Hm. The Ultimate Lord will invent one. Go UNC-Ashville Powder Monkeys!

* Greg Oden cracks The Ultimate Lord up. He is very funny... for a 55 year old man! Zing!

* What do you mean that wasn't a zing?

* Jim Carey should just spare us all and kill himself.

* Nice seeing Email get some meaningful first half minutes. He can really rebound.

* Tyler might get the UNC-Chapel Hill record for "points in a career," but Phil will hold on tight to that "Coach's wives banged in a career" record like... well, like he holds onto a coach's wife. Zing!

* Ohh, The Ultimate Lord is feeling Zoubek's soul patch! And He will even avoid the obligatory Zoubek joke here, out of respect for Tedder and Zoub's improvement.

* In the world of Ghiradelli chocolates, the mint filled ones are king, but the raspberry ones are a close second. The peanut butter ones should be taken out to the lake and drowned.

* Lance's little poke-save with 40 seconds left is a great sign of how much better his hands have gotten this year; last year he would have either missed it or poked it out of bounds.

* Messy end to the half. Not counting Kenny George and his pretty reverse dunk. GO KENNY GEORGE!

* That guy waited until present exchange to whip out the sign of "Merry Christmas?" Must have been a thrilling few weeks beforehand, as his deaf girlfriend signed "Merry Christmas!" and he signed back "Eh, whatever." BTW, is the sign for "hand job" what The Ultimate Lord imagines it must be?

* Man, guys from opposite teams REALLY don't pick each other up anymore.

* The Big Four?! TELL The Ultimate Lord that DAVIDSON isn't being counted in there... surely they mean Duke, UNC, State, and Wake, no?

* Crazy charge call on Singler, although The Ultimate Lord admits He wishes that cheap-o lean in would be called a little more often... just not on Jon.

* So The Ultimate Lord recently got "Sports Night" from the Netflix, remembering it was an awesome show. No idea if that memory is correct, because the moment THE LAUGH TRACK kicked in, the DVD got kicked right back to Netflix.

* Love when the refs run up to the out of bounds line to point EXACTLY where the guy went out. Because, like, otherwise the players might not believe them?

* A lot of smiling tonight. Is that okay? Or should they still be a little pissed and focused after Michigan and 11 days off? Eh.

* Nice talk about legacy and your time in college ball. However, while time in college might not diminish your ability to play, it MIGHT wise the NBA up to who can and cannot play at that level.

* Lovely mid-court strip by Kyle.

* "A quarterback on the bench... except he is in now... but he comes off the bench... well, except tonight, when he started..." Oh Len, just shut that giant mouth please.

* YIKES beautiful move by Kenny George to recover his own block and then take it downcourt for the JAM!!! GO KENNY GEORGE!

* Mike Jarvis was a scary, scary looking guy... one step above Frank "I'm gonna shiv some motherf'er!" Haith.

* While the St. Johns loss sucked, it was nice to see Carlos and Shane and JWill and all them again.

* Ouch; why do color guys always get picked on? Stop picking on Len!

* Hm... what is up with the Greg Zoubek? You know what? Keep picking on him, please.

* Email has some showboat in him, and that is just fine.

* Kyle pulls a Tyler and loses his contact lense. Ugh... The Ultimate Lord now needs a shower.

* OUCH Elton. Dislocated shoulders HURT. Speaking of Elton, he has SO reshaped his body... he is just straight JACKED now, whereas in college he was more... round. And soft.

* Marty's three point shooting has SUCKED. What's up with that?

* Slick behind the back pass by Dickie... too bad the layup was flubbed.

* REAL slick behind the back pass TO HIMSELF by Kenny George. And then the three! GO KENNY GEORGE!

* Buses suck. The Ultimate Lord has spent MANY nights on those sleeper VanHools, crisscrossing the country... remind Him to tell the story of the night the driver fell asleep while crossing the Smoky Mountains, or the time the giant 100 lb, ice-filled cooler fell on His head while He was asleep.

* Ah! Question answered; Rocky the Bulldog!

* Seriously? Rocky the Bulldog?

* When did Jon pick up this "not necessarily a great shooter" label? The Ultimate Lord remembers not-so-long-ago thinking that Jon was a VERY good shooter.

* The Ultimate Lord finally agrees with Len "The Mouth" Elmore; Tyler will be a solid NBA player for ten years. Or in other words, until he is 47.

* Email seems very flexible and capable right around the basket.

* Go Gary the Camera Man! Even kept the camera on Marty while he went down. A good camera man is hard to find. BTW, those cameras do cost a pretty penny. Back when The Ultimate Lord was mortal and worked in sports on TV, He remembers a camera man over at Fox Sports calling his camera his "shoulder Viper" because of the cost. The man drove an '89 Tercel if The Ultimate Lord remembers correctly.

* Olek wanted to CRUSH that missed free throw. And then he follows up with a three attempt? Okay...

* Screw classy; score 100!

* And a magnificant move to end it by Kenny George, as he gets the rebound, dribbles out the door, down 15-501, into the Nose Dome, and THROWS it down on Tyler "Second Best Player in North Carolina" Hanstravel! GO KENNY GEORGE!!!!

* Yikes... clearly the students are gone... anyone hear that horrible trumpet at the end?

Overall a good recovery. Nice to see the 3s falling early, and nice to see Greg starting again, even if it is temporary. Good minutes tonight, especially in the first, which The Ultimate Lord hopes will continue... No one seemed to be on the floor too much. Perfect! The only downer was not getting to see Kenny; to be honest, The Ultimate Lord has always had a soft spot in His Gracious Heart for the biggest of the bigs, and it is a shame that George is out.

Next up... the X-Men, and dorky comic book jokes galore! To preview...

The preview for the new Wolverine movie

See you on Saturday! 'Nuff said!