The Ultimate Truths; This guy is frikking CRAZY!

Hello all, and an early Happy New Year to the Blue Devil world!

In a fairly quiet, empty campus game today the Blue Devils welcomed Loyola Maryland to Durham, and wackiness ensued! Wackiness, and coaching anger unlike anything we've seen since Angry Gary.

* The Ultimate Lord hates anything with the name "Maryland" in it. This includes "The University of Maryland - College Park," "Loyola College in Maryland," and "Maryland Crabcakes."

* To the home of the Crazies... except these aren't crazies. That will always anger The Ultimate Lord. Maybe they should not schedule games when there are no students around.

* Hm, Loyola is confident, eh? You know what usually happens to confident teams when they play Duke? They get whipped. Just ask Xavier.

* Patsos is a former Maryland assistant for ol'Sweaty? Well, he should be fine with the Crazies; he clearly has had more obscene things yelled at him before.

* The home whites look REALLY white, especially around the shoulders. What is different about these unis?

* Jesus, Patsos yells like Sweaty too. Wow. He looks like an absolute crazy man. Coached from the stands? You know ESPN is going to be cutting back to him a LOT this game for Ye Olde Reaction Shotte!

* Love the full court pressure/double with Smith and Singler. Singler's smarts and length really help as the courtside help.

* Zoubek's height really alters shots and even prevents them from happening. Very nice to see.

* The Ultimate Lord wishes they would add a big screen TV someplace in the museum display that is the Cameron concourse now which would fade from an empty beautiful shot of Cameron to a rocking gameday shot.

* Gaylord Hotel Music City Bowl? Seriously? They must have very popular hats in their gift baskets.

* Capitol Bowl Week for the Outback Bowl... they sold sponsorship to the entire WEEK?! Why not sponsor each day too? Or the afternoon and the evening? "Welcome to the Outback Bowl, here at Capitol Bowl week on Tostitos Tuesday here at the Trojan Mid-Day Slot!"

* Nice to see Miles early. Nothing teaches like game-time experience.

* Holy Christ, Coach Wacko is ready to KILL that guy on the bench! Check out that Finger Point of Doom! It is like he is Harrison Ford or something, just a LOT angrier.



* Nice roll by G.

* The button on that coat was stretched to its limit. That dude is straight-up crazy.

* Len's teams that can take out UNC... Gonzaga? Seriously? Suck it, Len.

* Hell of a layup that Loyola player made over a skying Gerald.

* Oh Nolan... hope you are okay.

* When the ACC sends TEN teams to bowl games, there are too many bowl games.

* What a dick applause by Patsos.

* Great save by Paulus as he hopped out of bounds to save the ball and tossed it back in, and then came back in again.

* Of Len's Five Early Surprises, we play them five times, with a double against Michigan and no game vs. Illinois. We always play a damn good schedule.

* The Ultimate Lord heard that Patsos originally considered pulling the Curry-Double-Team on Briand, but then gave up on it when he realized even FIVE men couldn't stop ONE Zoubek!

* Only two Rookies of the Year at Duke? That is crazy! The Ultimate Lord supposes that must have something to do with K loving upper classmen.

* Man, the ESPN truck cuts to Patsos Reaction Shots a LOT... clearly they are hoping for a Faith Hill/Carrie Underwood moment.

* Why did they show that depressed emo kid after Hendo's basket?

* Who is the guy in the lime green shirt on the Loyola bench? He is awful dressed down...

* Man. Hendo is the easiest elevator in Duke history. And he doesn't even lead with one hand like most dunkers; he gets up there with both hands and his shoulders free and able to react in a way that few other players have ever been able to. Just totally effortless.

* Jon has played at the point a bit recently with Greg at the 2. This is okay with The Ultimate Lord.

* Surefire sign of previous suck; every single time Zoubek scores the announcers rant about how much he has improved. Tho to be fair, he REALLY has.

* Scheyer is simply tireless. VO2 Max FTW!

* Loved watching those two Loyola guys run smack into eachother when Kyle threw it down.

* ... and Kevin Bacon went to Maryland too! Enough with the stupid degrees of seperation.

* Dude, Patsos LOVES to stick his finger in a guys face. Fifty bucks says someone goes Spree on his *** within five years.

* Our D looks great, but their O looks sloppy as all hell.

* Ahhh so glad the ACC season is coming! Fire it up!

* Winbush. Heh heh heh.

* Our bench is awesome. Thomas is SO improved, Paulus is an amazing backup, and McClure is solid as a ROCK. Add two pretty decent frosh, and you've got a good team. Too bad Marty still chucks up 3s.

* Look at K talking to Scheyer as Scheyer squats in front of him... sorry, but The Ultimate Lord would react a lot better to this than to the Crazy Gary Clone on the other side of the floor sticking the Harrison Ford finger in his face and spewing spittle.

* Speaking of Marty, he does look older.

* Love the high arc on Lance's shot. Makes it hard to block and more likely to bounce back into the hoop.

* Okay, that LL Cool J commercial is awesome. "Ahhh!"

* That PG, Harvey, who Greg gave that forearm shiv to, looks like a 38 year old accountant.

* No losses from '83-'95?! Jesus!!

* "(Curry) never took a shot except when he shot 3 times!" Right.

* "(Patsos is) till working that sideline." Yeah, like Hitler worked the crowd in Berlin in 1939.

* Nice giveback from Singler to McClure, telling him to shoot that open 3. Speaks for good chemistry and smarts by Singler to get the other guys involved and confident.

* Are the dorms closed over break? And what hotel are the guys staying at?

* McClure's father played where? Where did THAT graphic come from? It isn't like he was high school teammates with Wayne Ellington, after all.

* No on mentions Lawson and Smith were teammates. We hear about Gerald and Wayne seventeen times a game... why no Lawson/Smith connection?

* Len says keep the starters in until about 2 minutes left. K keeps them in for about 30 seconds more. K > Len.

* Their PG, that #31, is skinny as a STICK.

* Olek is dreamy.

* Ol'Captain Crazy is still pacing that sideline yelling like a Gary with 3:20 to go. Was it just The Ultimate Lord's imagination, or did a few of the players look like they were totally ignoring the guy?

* Looking forward to the NBA announcers doing a Duke game! Too bad the real crazies won't be back yet, right?

* Both Plumlee parents played college ball... what is with all the Parent Player graphics this game?

* Email is SO good at finishing within a foot or two of the basket; those long arms really help.

* And finally... what was that little Paulus/Crazy Coach exchange at the end, where Patsos seemed to say "Thank you?" Okay, The Ultimate Lord hates him a little less now.

And with that, allow The Ultimate Lord to wish everyone a very Happy New Years... next up? A real ACC game!!!!!!! WoooOOOOOooooOOO!!!!

The Ultimate Truths - RIP Kenny George

Hello all, and welcome back after THE DAMN LONGEST ELEVEN DAYS OF OUR COLLECTIVE LIVES!!!!

Well okay, maybe not THAT long, but man the exam period blows. The Ultimate Lord wonders if it is different at a place like Memphis, where they don't actually take exams? Zing!

Anyway... nice to be back, because such a long layoff after a loss leaves a LOT of empty time, empty time that is generally filled with booze and Grant Hill videos. But finally Duke is back, and so too are... THE ULTIMATE TRUTHS!

* Argh; hate the empty, Christmas Crazy section full of old people. Those aren't Cameron Crazies... those are straight up Alzheimers crazies.

* Speaking of hate; The Ultimate Lord HATES Len Elmore's tooth-filled mouth!

* Also speaking of hate; Happy Holidays everyone!

* No Kenny George sucks. No; forget this! The Ultimate Lord WANTS Kenny George, and The Ultimate Lord will have Kenny George!

* WHOA starters! Nice move by K to get them fired up after 11 days off. Wonder when he told the guys who was starting? Did he wait until game day to give the starters some real fire, or did he tell everyone early on, so they had time to get used to the idea? The Ultimate Lord would go with the "tell them five minutes before tip" move.

* Emails first move... yikers. Kid will be good.

* Nice block by Kenny George. GO KENNY GEORGE!

* Good spacing to start against the UNC-A pressure.

* Miles is quick on his feet for a big guy.

* John Williams; the best ever. Better even than Danny Elfman. "The Imperial March" is The Ultimate Lord's WWF entrance music.

* Love seeing Greg hit a few early 3s. Can't imagine he will match last years numbers, though.

* A few empty seats in the upper deck; it is too bad that more local UNC-A fans couldn't get in and use those seats last minute.

* Shame about Steph Curry and that junk defense from Loyola that kept him scoreless... just lowers his PPG, which we want NICE and high as he attempts to take that NPOY from Hanstravel.

* Nice to see Kyle hit his first 3 too.

* Jesus, Gerald's elevation is SICK. Might he have the best ups of any Duke player in history? He just gets so high, and his body stays so in control... between his two handed catch-and-dunks, and his crazy elevations for blocks...

* Dammit... seriously, saving the ball and nutmeging Zoubek with it right to an opposing player under the basket?

* Woof, scary dancing Medusa coming back from commercial. Will she join the Crazy Towel Guy and Viking Guy as a Crazy regular? Blech. Kentucky gets Ashley, we get... Dancing Medusa.

* You know, The Ultimate Lord wishes they would do a Duke alumn game. That could be SO much fun to watch. Maybe as a charity?

* Hendos midrange jumper is still MIA.

* The pretty back door pass is always a beaut. Right up there with the teardrop and the jump hook!

* A nice trick for those cold winter nights: fill up a long, hopefully unused tube sock with about 3 cups of uncooked rice, and a dash of lavender oil. Then rubber band it all up so you cannot have a spill. Twenty minutes before going to bed pop it in the microwave for 2 and a half minutes, and then put it under the covers where your feet go. Instant warm feet for bedtime!

* Nolan #1 on threes? No kidding. Honestly, The Ultimate Lord likes his stroke and stance, even if it is a little goofy footed.

* Speaking of threes... apparently tonight is a "live by" night.

* Wow, GREAT consecutive blocks by Kenny George! GO KENNY GEORGE!!

* Speaking of Kenny George... after he is done with school, could he find a job as Larry Fishburn's body double?

* A little between the legs showboat by Nolan. Good.

* What is with the one guy in the red shirt in the student section? Must be a Maryland prick.

* Into the bonus real early in the first.

* BTW, does anyone out there have any good punch recipes out there for a fruity, sherberty, extremely alcoholic holiday punch? And no, it does not need to include bacon. Anyway... please share!

* What is with the Pizza Hut Panourmous ad where they pass around the box but never show the pizza? Something is suspicious here... you never actually see the pizza next to anything you can judge its size by... The Ultimate Lord bets it is like six inch square. What crap.

* Oh no... it is Bowl time. Or should The Ultimate Lord say Lowe's Bowl Time? Brought to you by Tostitos! And brought to you by Mazda... zoom zoom zoom! And brough to you by Kay Jewelers... every kiss THE ULTIMATE ***!! ARGH!! It all started going downhill when the Bond films well total sponsorship.

* UNC-A seems very unsteady with their dribble tonight. Lots of bobbles by everyone... except Kenny George, of course, whose behind-the-back move was something else! GO KENNY GEORGE!

* The Ultimate Lord does not think the walk was the right call on that UNC-A guy who did that cute little spin.

* BTW, what is the UNC-A mascot? Hm. The Ultimate Lord will invent one. Go UNC-Ashville Powder Monkeys!

* Greg Oden cracks The Ultimate Lord up. He is very funny... for a 55 year old man! Zing!

* What do you mean that wasn't a zing?

* Jim Carey should just spare us all and kill himself.

* Nice seeing Email get some meaningful first half minutes. He can really rebound.

* Tyler might get the UNC-Chapel Hill record for "points in a career," but Phil will hold on tight to that "Coach's wives banged in a career" record like... well, like he holds onto a coach's wife. Zing!

* Ohh, The Ultimate Lord is feeling Zoubek's soul patch! And He will even avoid the obligatory Zoubek joke here, out of respect for Tedder and Zoub's improvement.

* In the world of Ghiradelli chocolates, the mint filled ones are king, but the raspberry ones are a close second. The peanut butter ones should be taken out to the lake and drowned.

* Lance's little poke-save with 40 seconds left is a great sign of how much better his hands have gotten this year; last year he would have either missed it or poked it out of bounds.

* Messy end to the half. Not counting Kenny George and his pretty reverse dunk. GO KENNY GEORGE!

* That guy waited until present exchange to whip out the sign of "Merry Christmas?" Must have been a thrilling few weeks beforehand, as his deaf girlfriend signed "Merry Christmas!" and he signed back "Eh, whatever." BTW, is the sign for "hand job" what The Ultimate Lord imagines it must be?

* Man, guys from opposite teams REALLY don't pick each other up anymore.

* The Big Four?! TELL The Ultimate Lord that DAVIDSON isn't being counted in there... surely they mean Duke, UNC, State, and Wake, no?

* Crazy charge call on Singler, although The Ultimate Lord admits He wishes that cheap-o lean in would be called a little more often... just not on Jon.

* So The Ultimate Lord recently got "Sports Night" from the Netflix, remembering it was an awesome show. No idea if that memory is correct, because the moment THE LAUGH TRACK kicked in, the DVD got kicked right back to Netflix.

* Love when the refs run up to the out of bounds line to point EXACTLY where the guy went out. Because, like, otherwise the players might not believe them?

* A lot of smiling tonight. Is that okay? Or should they still be a little pissed and focused after Michigan and 11 days off? Eh.

* Nice talk about legacy and your time in college ball. However, while time in college might not diminish your ability to play, it MIGHT wise the NBA up to who can and cannot play at that level.

* Lovely mid-court strip by Kyle.

* "A quarterback on the bench... except he is in now... but he comes off the bench... well, except tonight, when he started..." Oh Len, just shut that giant mouth please.

* YIKES beautiful move by Kenny George to recover his own block and then take it downcourt for the JAM!!! GO KENNY GEORGE!

* Mike Jarvis was a scary, scary looking guy... one step above Frank "I'm gonna shiv some motherf'er!" Haith.

* While the St. Johns loss sucked, it was nice to see Carlos and Shane and JWill and all them again.

* Ouch; why do color guys always get picked on? Stop picking on Len!

* Hm... what is up with the Greg Zoubek? You know what? Keep picking on him, please.

* Email has some showboat in him, and that is just fine.

* Kyle pulls a Tyler and loses his contact lense. Ugh... The Ultimate Lord now needs a shower.

* OUCH Elton. Dislocated shoulders HURT. Speaking of Elton, he has SO reshaped his body... he is just straight JACKED now, whereas in college he was more... round. And soft.

* Marty's three point shooting has SUCKED. What's up with that?

* Slick behind the back pass by Dickie... too bad the layup was flubbed.

* REAL slick behind the back pass TO HIMSELF by Kenny George. And then the three! GO KENNY GEORGE!

* Buses suck. The Ultimate Lord has spent MANY nights on those sleeper VanHools, crisscrossing the country... remind Him to tell the story of the night the driver fell asleep while crossing the Smoky Mountains, or the time the giant 100 lb, ice-filled cooler fell on His head while He was asleep.

* Ah! Question answered; Rocky the Bulldog!

* Seriously? Rocky the Bulldog?

* When did Jon pick up this "not necessarily a great shooter" label? The Ultimate Lord remembers not-so-long-ago thinking that Jon was a VERY good shooter.

* The Ultimate Lord finally agrees with Len "The Mouth" Elmore; Tyler will be a solid NBA player for ten years. Or in other words, until he is 47.

* Email seems very flexible and capable right around the basket.

* Go Gary the Camera Man! Even kept the camera on Marty while he went down. A good camera man is hard to find. BTW, those cameras do cost a pretty penny. Back when The Ultimate Lord was mortal and worked in sports on TV, He remembers a camera man over at Fox Sports calling his camera his "shoulder Viper" because of the cost. The man drove an '89 Tercel if The Ultimate Lord remembers correctly.

* Olek wanted to CRUSH that missed free throw. And then he follows up with a three attempt? Okay...

* Screw classy; score 100!

* And a magnificant move to end it by Kenny George, as he gets the rebound, dribbles out the door, down 15-501, into the Nose Dome, and THROWS it down on Tyler "Second Best Player in North Carolina" Hanstravel! GO KENNY GEORGE!!!!

* Yikes... clearly the students are gone... anyone hear that horrible trumpet at the end?

Overall a good recovery. Nice to see the 3s falling early, and nice to see Greg starting again, even if it is temporary. Good minutes tonight, especially in the first, which The Ultimate Lord hopes will continue... No one seemed to be on the floor too much. Perfect! The only downer was not getting to see Kenny; to be honest, The Ultimate Lord has always had a soft spot in His Gracious Heart for the biggest of the bigs, and it is a shame that George is out.

Next up... the X-Men, and dorky comic book jokes galore! To preview...

The preview for the new Wolverine movie

See you on Saturday! 'Nuff said!

The Ultimate Truth; HOW do you say that name?

Hello all!

Well, that most holy of Holidays, the provider of Turkey and Stuffing and Mashed Potato sandwiches has come, and with it has come... well, two things; an annoying cold, and BASKETBALL! Let's go to the video Truth!

* Grrr... The Ultimate Lord hates missing the opening tip and fanfare of a game; He feels like it is harder to get into the game halfway through.

* From The Ultimate Sideline Reporter; Scheyer with a nice three to start... Zoubek with a nice move inside as well... Duke man-to-man looking a bit weak.

* HOW do you say that name? Du-kain? Seriously? And how on earth does "Duquesne" translate into THAT?

* Tennessee looks llllloooonnnnggg and athletic.

* The Ultimate Lord was really praying for Tennessee to pour it on, so as to avoid that stupid time-out foul stuff. Come on ESPN, just cut away... it is a ten point game with 9 seconds left, and there is no Jason Williams in sight.

* Jimmy Dykes. Hee hee hee.

* That Jackson kid from Dukain... 17 pts, 7 assists, 7.5 rebounds?! That is SOME line!

* Duke is WHAT from February on?! Did he REALLY say 14 and 13? That cannot be. Unfortunately... it feels right

* While he is very much improved, Lance should get pump-fake tips from Dave McClure; he is really heady with them.

* "Duke will run it up your back side?" Seriously now?

* So the nice thing about cold mashed potatos and cold stuffing is that you can actually slice it carefully with a sharp knife to exactly the size of the bread you are making a sandwich out of. The Ultimate Lord is on sandwich eight. This is the only pork-free-and-feeling-no-guilt weekend of The Ultimate Lord's year.

* If Robert Downey Jr. doesn't do the Avengers movie, The Ultimate Lord will be PISSED.

* At least four future pros for Duke on this team; Hendo, Singler, Nolan, and, if they are smart, Jon. And it is too early to tell on one or two.

* Hm, for a guy with bum knees, McClure can get UP.

* Paulus is not a bad defender at ALL. Still isn't shooting much tho.

* Point guard at Duke is like quarterback at Not... at SOUTHERN CAL?! Oh man how the mighty have fallen.

* Hendo uses the bounce pass very, very well.

* Speaking of leftover sandwiches... has anyone ever tried that trick they talked about on "Friends," with putting a third piece of bread between the layers that has been soaked in gravy? A half pound of bacon sent express to anyone who can recall the name of that trick!

* 3 point shooting looks improved, but a lot of them have been wide open looks. However, we don't seem as live/die by the 3 so far...

* Kyle has a GREAT great handle! He will be a real good 3 in the League.

* Doocain is playing very physical down low; anyone else notice that nasty shove on Henderson that went uncalled?

* The Crazies don't sound bad for all being away on Thanksgiving break.

* Nice to see Singler using that in-between game; sure it is only worth 2, but getting close like that also puts the shooter in good position for a rebound.

* Gone the whole Bush administration without a loss at home? Jimmy my friend... hate to break it to you, but basketball notwithstanding, we've ALL lost at home during the Bush administration. Zing!

* Ha! Santa and the elf are still at Cameron! They've been there a few years now... The Ultimate Lord hopes that is a grandpa/grandson thing, and not something... awkward.

* We are using Kyle a lot as a screen when there is full-court pressure.

* Great recovery by Lance on that between-the-leg-bobble (heh... run it up their backside!) Last year he would have promptly lost that one out of bounds.

* Crap assist-to-turnover ratio by Nolan. Would love to see his steals though... does he have more than Greg so far this year? He really is more a scoring, Will Avery type.

* Vasquez looks to have put on a little healthy weight; he has less of the "drowned rat" look to him this year.

* Good ending to the half... some of our secondary guys have REALLY stepped up this year. We need Hendo and Greg now to do the same, and we are in GOOD shape!

* The announcers are talking about it a lot, but we are having troubles with the o-rebounding. We just look a bit out of place and awkward at times still.

* 42% vs 55% of points off turnovers? Hm, what do we make of this? Are we scoring more one-on-one this year, or are we not moving the ball well? Seems to The Ultimate Lord more the latter than the former.

* Duke shoots pretty well, it seems, from the corner for 3. Not sure why people tend to trash that shot as one we don't shoot well. Sure the rebounds are difficult, but...

* "I don't like the shoes Carrie Underwood is wearing." Hah! Good line.

* Speaking of Mrs. Ultimate Lord...

*The new scoreboard looks pretty nice from what The Ultimate Lord can tell. Big, but doesn't stand out.

* Wow that Singler offensive board a little ways into the second was awesome... he jumped up, and came down on top of ONLY players; he never hit the floor!

* Wow, Greg really TOOK that steal, and Zoubek really FINISHED! Nice!

* Heh... Duke the only team which wears sleeves for injury. The Ultimate Lord has had that same thought before.

* Nice to see GP hit a few 3s!

* Everhart looks vaguely like an ugly Mr. Big.

"DAMMIT CARRIE, I AM TOO OLD LOOKING TO BE A BELIEVABLE HOT ROMANTIC LEAD IN A MOVIE!! JUST LET ME GO COACH AT DU... DOOQ... wait, how do you say the name again? Really? Du-cain? But... why does it have an 's' in it? It is silent? Man, this is stupid."

* Greg is the best shooting PG that K has ever had? Huh? Do stats in any way, shape, or form back that up?

* Heh, elite programs don't have to promise minutes. What if they promise minutes AND shots, eh? Heh, it is almost too easy to mock Kentucky nowadays. Go eat a bloody booger, Patrick.

* Lance's hands have just improved SO very much... wonder if he did hand drills or something like that over the summer. The Ultimate Lord assumes there is such a thing?

* And cue Leftover Sandwich Number Nine.

* And speaking of sandwiches... the best part of Thanksigiving leftovers is stuffing. Annnnd... discuss.

* The nice thing about a televised ***-whupping; seeing a lot of Marty P.

* Speaking of the importance of the bench; it better stay important this year. You hear The Ultimate Lord, Coach K?

* GREAT steal and dribble/score by Zoubek! Where did that come from? Note the bench in hysterics.

* Did Zoubek try to dunk a few plays later when he got stuffed? It almost looked it!

* The guy in the commercial who plays his PSP EVERYWHERE, including in a club, is almost as annoying as the guy who uses his cell phone to play fantasy football on his honeymoon. Note; ALMOST.

* Hearing Kobe and Chris Paul and all the rest of them gush over Coach K never gets old. Neither does hearing Chris Paul call him simply "Coach."

* Nice Pocius-to-Plumlee look. However, Miles does look a bit lost out there right now at the end.

* Ahhh... glad to hear that Tyler still plays harder than anyone else.

* Speaking of Tyler... could he *gasp* NOT win NPOY this year? GOOOOO OKLAHOMA!!!!!! BOOMER SOONER!!!!!!

* WTF is with this extended, crappy play-by-play check-in with the Purdue-OK game? If they don't go back...

* Heh, anyone else notice that Doocain player throw the pass right off his buddy's face? Hah!

* Cue Leftover Sandwich Number 10... and The Ultimate Lord is having troubles getting up out of His Chair.

* Man, the announcers were really riding Plumlee. What dicks.

* Zone?! Ahhh, The Ultimate Lord loves blowouts!

* Ahhh... and apparently, General Grievous still looks like a drowned rat. Apparently that graphic was misleading.

All in all, a real blowout (not counting the last few minutes...) but still very interesting to see a lot of different players getting minutes. As long as K doesn't go shortening the bench too early, and as long as Greg and Gerald step it up a bit, we are going to be AWFUL good this year. Bring on Purdue!!

The Ultimate Truths - WOLVERINES!!!

Whelp, welcome back Duke fans, to a SECOND night of The Truth! After UCLA failed to live up to its end of the bargin, would Duke roll over a game Michigan team? Or would the Wolverines live in the hills, striking from the hills and launching devasting ambushes, all after watching that science teacher get blasted the F AWAY? Only time will tell!!

And now... The Ultimate Truths for the Championship Game of the Coaches vs Cancer Classic!

*Jamie Luckie? Awesome name for a ref. Almost as good as that announcer whose name was Baller.

* Hmm... Nolan starts again? When Greg is 100 percent, will he take back the starting spot? Or will Duke get out to a good start tonight... finally?

* Good to see Gerald go RIGHT at it, first play of the game. Wonder if K set that up?

* Speaking of Gerald... he is really starting to look a bit G.Hill to The Ultimate Lord. When he isn't looking Kobe, that is.

* The "toss in the air" save, while it worked yesterday, makes The Ultimate Lord nervous. Do coaches approve of it?

* Why is Kyle guarding their guy who is bringing the ball up? Bad switch? Or using length to bother them?

* WOOF Gerald with an AGGRESSIVE block!

* Oh no... a missed goaltend? Let's watch the replay five different times! And cue the whiney ARGH they bought off the refs Duke cheats I hate them they only win because The Rat rides the refs!!!!" Carolina fans in 3, 2, 1...

* "Using your quickness" against Zoubek ain't saying that much. It's like using your wits against Sloth.



* So this might be taboo to say... but does losing Johnny hurt Duke recruiting African-American players? There are a lot of white coaches on that bench. Is Nate on the recruiting trail now? Or are going to see more Ryan Kelly/Mason Plumlee classes on the way?

* Alfred Aboya... great name. However, he better be careful... if his wrist doesn't heal quick, he might get adopted by Brad and Angelina.

* Nice to see GP hit the 3. He is always better A) when fading sideways and B) after getting wacked in the head.

* Singler ALWAYS looks exhausted to The Ultimate Lord!

* You know, it feels like we haven't drawn a lot of charges this year.

* Ohhh Dick... "Get me the ball, gimme the rock, OOOOHHHH Wolverines!!!!!" After hearing Bob Knight last night, Dick Vitale is a hundred times more annoying. And everyone knows that infinity times a hundred is... well, a LOT of annoying.

* Ugh. Lowes Feast Week. Stupid everything-is-sponsored world.

* BTW, this weeks Ultimate Truths are brought to you by Pfizer. Pfizer; when it's time for old folks to get it on!

* Great match-ups... like Kentucky/UNC? Jesus, who wrote THAT, a UNC fan who is convinced they play a DEVASTATING schedule? Yeah... not so much. But check out how much they ***** when we play Davidson and Air Force and...

* You know... for a white boy, Pocius is fairly jacked. And don't even start on his calves...

* Actually Dick; cutting down the nets ISN'T all that matters at Duke. Seriously.

* Jesus Mickie K... that jacket is straight up PIMPING. Is that blue pleather? With SPIKES?

* Zoublock!

* Heh, every time someone mentions Aminu, The Ultimate Lord can only think of that quote when Aminu said something about putting Wake on the map... and then The Ultimate Lord laughs, thinking about that scrub from the Virgin Islands who played there. What was that guy's name again?

* BTW... Randolph "Come and get me WHOOPS 3 eat it Jeff!" will always be The Man.

* Heh, that never gets old.

* Ugh. That Diaper Dandies graphic has GOT to go. What channel do they think this is, Lifetime? Show The Ultimate Lord Marissa Miller in a diaper and you've got a viewer for life!

* Remember St. Johns at the Garden a while back? Man, they were PSYCHED to play Duke... there were BEAT DUKE t-shirts on EVERY chair. Too bad they lost, like almost everyone else.

* Whenever anyone mentions Art Garfinkel, The Ultimate Lord always imagines him looking like this... just replace the fan brush and the burnt sienna with a basketball.




* Random thought of the night; naked and from behind, Digger Phelps and Winston Churchill would look like brothers.

* Commecials just suck nowadays. Hulu girls selling Subway? In what marketing universe does that make a BIT of sense? God... and people get PAID to make this crap.

* Blech. We check in on the NBA, and we see Jamison? *sigh* BTW... he was awesome. Him and Juan Dixon = favorite non-Dukies ever.

* Why the black unis? Why not the blues?

* So... which set of tens is the most succesful at Duke? The single digits? They did have J.J. and Los... the twenties had Christian and Trajan and Shel... the thirties had Battier and Hill... anyone wanna take a guess?

* The Ultimate Lord feels a little bad that Nolan lost Coach Dawkins so early in his career. Well, at least he got the support his freshman year.

* Jesus, there are a lot of logos on that floor. At least they don't seem slippery, as logos (especially over ice) tend to get.

* Is Zoubek going up a bit quicker with the ball this year, or is it The Ultimate Lord's imagination?

* Hah, Sir Charles is AWESOME. Great line about Vitale.

* Kansas City has awesome BBQ.

* Jesus... end of the half, and Dick is just RAMBLING and rambling! He is an absolute car-wreck.

* Ahhhh... and there is K, teaching Nolan before they hit the locker room. K = awesome.

* Len Elmore would make an AWESOME post-apocolyptic zombie.

* Hm, super aggressive move by Gerald to start the half again. The Ultimate Lord likes that a lot.

* Beautiful pass by Singler to Nolan under the basket. What CAN'T Kyle do?

* WOW Gerald! What a block! He has SUCH effortless elevation... surely one of the most effortless, if not THE most, in Duke history.

* BTW, speaking of Gerald, whatever happened to that "exercise induced asthma/out of shape" thing. If only The Ultimate Lord were that "out of shape..."

* It is SUCH a relief to see Lance step up this year. The Ultimate Lord thinks most folks expect a guy to step up his junior year if he doesn't his sophomore year, but it was still nice to see.

* Can you imagine if there were trades in the NCAA? What trade would you propose? Maybe a guard-for-big trade with Wake?

* Looked like Lance got fouled on that nifty Jon no-look-save-to-the-post... and then they hit a 3? Goddamnit.

* New York Redbulls? This sponsorship stuff is just out of control.

* BTW, this weeks Ultimate Truths brought to you by Brother Jimmys BBQ; lighting bartenders on fire for 37 years!

* Amazing that there aren't more retired jerseys in the Garden, no?

* A side rant: Do you know who The Ultimate Lord hates? People who love vampires. Yes, with the opening of that teen vampire flick, it seems that there are nerdy, pale vampire lovers *everywhere* They are worse than Trekkies. At least Trekkies see SOME light, albeit computer screen light. Vampire lovers stay nice and pale by spending every day in their parents basement. Blech.

* Man... does Michigan REALLY not realize that the outside line is the NBA line? Because it really seems they are making that mistake. Is that possible?

* Email is LONG. Long long long; he can really defend and get up there for rebounds and passes over the D.

* If K hits #1 in wins, that will be pretty sweet. But honestly, hitting #2 might almost be sweeter.

* "Great spurtability." Uch. That sounds really, really gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

* Man. UNC is going to have a LOT of big guys next year. Is it possible that Zeller might end up playing... the 3?

* Hmmm... liked the rotation to start, but man it started to stagnate a bit into the second...

* Too bad Brockman didn't go to Duke.

* A "blender?" Dick, where is the stupid-*** graphic to go with it?


* Man, Greg's #s have really dropped. To be frank, The Ultimate Lord feels a bit bad about it.

* Manny Harris looks a bit like Benny the Cab Driver from "Total Recall." HEY BENNY... SCREW YOUUUU!!!!

* Whenever anyone mentions Bob Gibbons, The Ultimate Lord always imagines him looking like this... just replace the lychee nuts and flung monkey poo with a basketball.



* The Ultimate Lord has that same Santa hat as that kid.

* Heh... enjoyed Dick's NBA list and subsequent admittal he could never memorize that. However... seriously, are we calling him "(Josh) Roberts" again? Why not go back to Kyle Singular?

* Speaking of Dick... he is REALLY stuck on this "shortened season" thing. The Ultimate Lord loves when he gets on these crusades that go nowhere.

* You know... The Ultimate Lord is not that happy that Plumlee is not playing at all. And why did Brian not see any time in the second half?

* Jeez, did The Ultimate Lord just call for more Zoubek time?

* As good as he is at the 3 and on the drive, Kyle is REALLY money RIGHT under the basket.

* So... everyone already knows that Tom Krean looks just like Tom Arnold, right?

* Anyone else as annoyed by that tool sitting over Dickie V's shoulder?

* OUGHF Gerald with another NASTY block! He gets UP, and he is so damn strong... makes for some impressive stuffs.

* The Ultimate Lord hearts our ability to switch and still be effective; so many Duke defenders can defend 3 and 4 spots.

* Argh... another Dixon?! We should have recruited him.

* Interesting Michigan rant by Dick, and you know what? The Ultimate Lord finds Himself... agreeing.

* McClure missed a three, made up for it with a charge. To be honest, The Ultimate Lord likes seeing Dave trying to get more involved in the offense. While everyone says that having David in is like having only four men on offense, The Ultimate Lord isn't sure this is true, and so far may only be because McClure doesn't TRY to score. As a senior... why not step it up?

* Jon is 2nd in Duke history in free throw percentage? Man, playing so close to J.J. can really leave a guy overlooked!

* Ohhh GP got REALLY turned around on D at about the 2:00 minute mark.

* Disappointed we didn't see Miles until the end.

* Well, overall a real nice game after a good second half last night! Duke seems to be stepping it up quite a bit compared to the first two games. Gerald finally is hitting on all cylinders, Nolan looked much more comfortable, and Zoubek continues to *gasp* impress! Now Greg needs to get healthy and we need to start developing Miles... but so far, so good!

Apparently The Ultimate Lord was wrong to bet on cancer... apparently the safe bet was the Blue Devils!

Next up... Montana!

Go Duke!

The Ultimate Truths - SIU edition!

Hello all, and welcome to the 2008-2009 Duke Blue Devils men's basketball season... and more importantly, the return of...

...The Ultimate Truths!

Well, let The Ultimate Lord begin by saying He has missed you all. Talk of bacon and D'nika Romero aside, basketball season is where it is at. And what little The Ultimate Lord has been able to make out through squinting at a computer screen while DookSucksGoHeels! has been blasting away on the chat about **** buying off the refs led Him to believe it will be a very interesting season! Finally though it is time for ESPN... and let the games begin!

* Ahhh The Ultimate Lord missed the ESPN basketball music! It is like Pavlov's dogs... play the music, and The Ultimate Lord starts screaming obscenties and insisting K recruit a big guy!

* This will be a terrific test of SIU?!?! WTF is that crap?!?! A test of THEM? Seriously?

* Come on Gerald... we need you to really step up this game and get nasty here... otherwise we might start getting nervous.

* BTW, sorry to say it, but The Ultimate Lord's money is on cancer. Sorry, Coaches, but it's got a lot of experience.

* Wow. Bob Knight looks crusty and cranky. In other words, like Bob Knight.

* Kyle w/hair > Kyle w/out. The Ultimate Lord always hated the "concentration camp survivor" look that our skinny white guys seem to adopt sometimes.

* Doris > Erin in every way. Well... almost every way.




* Gerald jumping when we have 7 foot Zoubek in there never gets old. Or any less depressing.

* Speaking of Zoubek... goddamn it.

* Wow... MSG looks BEAUTIFULLY empty on HDTV to start! Where are all the Dukies?! Or did they all move back to New Jersey after losing their jobs on Wall Street?

* WTF is a Saluki, anyway?

* Thank god for Kyle this year.

* Love that clip of the '93 team. Seeing the 33 and the 11 out there is ALWAYS a treat.

* Wojo is going to have some SERIOUS "crazy old man" eyebrows someday. Think "Andy Rooney" eyebrows.



* Hmmm... so this is three Duke games, three Nolan starts, and three slow, disjointed starts by Duke. It is time to put Greg back in as the starting PG.

* BTW; a Saluki is maybe the oldest domesticated dog breed in the world, first being kept as a pet as long as 7000 years ago, and bred in Iraq. Not only does The Ultimate Lord socialize (and get frustrated with Brian Zoubrick) but The Ultimate Lord informs! (Thank you Dwight.)

* When Zoubek did the first right thing of the game (that reach in to cause a TO... which, in retrospect, may have actually been a WRONG thing with a lucky result) did you see the bench go nuts?

* The Ultimate Lord hearts Jon Scheyer.

* Man, Nate Dogg looks SHARP in a suit! Only thing he looks sharper in? A Duke uniform.

* BTW, speaking of Jon... don't let The Ultimate Lord hear another moron say Jon isn't athletic. He really, really is. Just because a brother is skinny and white and makes funny O-faces when exerting himself does NOT mean he isn't athletic.

* When Plumlee first came in the other guys really missed him a few times when he was open.

* BTW; The Ultimate Lord LOVES Bob Knight as an analyst. Just listening to him you can HEAR the years of experience... the philosophies, the play theory, how used he is to tracking numbers and trends... awesome.

* Heh, when Plumlee fouls they say Zoubek. Paging Dr. Freud!

* Speaking of Miles, they say he cleared 6'9 as a high jumper in high school. That is like Miles Plumlee jumping... well, over Miles Plumlee. That is very zen.

* Anyone else think Nick Evans looks a bit like a dopey Michael Rappaport?



* No Time Outs in the air anymore? Aw... man, that sucks. Those were always fun and exciting.

* The Frosh are showing up earlier this game. Apparently the 360 Doghouse only lasts a game.

* OHHHH!!! Fay HURDLED that family!! You notice how appreciative that Dad was? Man, that would have been UGLY... right into the boys in the front row. Awesome move by Fay.

* Oh baseball. Where else would a "20 win season" be a HUGE deal for a player (a pitcher in this case) when the team plays something like 3,000 games in a season? What a bunch of wussies.

* Ahhh nice block and recovery by Plumlee! Memo to Coach K: Please, sit Zoubek forever.

* Speaking of Plumlee, there were a few occassions where SIU players clearly passed out/backed off, respecting Plumlee's blocking ability.

* God these turnovers are BRUTAL. Some of our drives, it is like the Duke player is just putting their head down and GOING, and the resulting TO or charge is just SO predictable.

* The Ultimate Lord hearts the Jump-hook.

* Jon has got SUCH a nose for the ball.

* BTW, the "Talk about how good a free throw shooter a guy is and watch him miss the next one" Curse is TOTALLY real.

* Comment from Hal Steinbrenner; "My Dad, needless to say, is a hard act to follow." Not reported; the follow-up "So I fired his grandpa *** and had him dragged out by security." Ahhh those Steinbrenner genes! Second only to the McMahon genes in inhereted assholeishness.

* Beautiful fake 3/pass to Thomas by Greg. The Ultimate Lord hearts the faked 3.

* Email doesn't seem to have a lot of fear at going right at the D... sometimes a good thing, sometimes not so much.

* "None of them." God, The Ultimate Lord loves Bob Knight.

* Good things happen when Zoubek gets the ball? Seriously? "This is good, this is very good?" "Get Zoubek the ball?" Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....



* Wow... Singler, Hendo, and Paulus with no points? Is that a GOOD sign, like "Oh look, even with our best guys struggling we respond and take the lead?" Or is it a crap sign, like "Oh look, our best guys are struggling?" The Ultimate Lord will let you know in March.

* Damn... turn down the music during the K & K talk!

* Len Elmore has the biggest mouth The Ultimate Lord has ever seen.

* And Steve Lavin has the biggest HEAD The Ultimate Lord has ever seen. Seriously, its like an old-school cash register.

* BTW... would you?



* BTW; The Ultimate Lord has always agreed with Knight that Zoubek DOES have a nice looking free throw stroke, especially for a big guy.

* "Not even Zoubek would have caught that one?" Seriously... that would make ANY Duke fan giggle like a schoolgirl.

* WOW Nolan! JEEZ. Angry, ANGRY! Expected the Gerald alley-oop, but GOD that was nasty nasty NASTY!

* The key is around the 10 minute mark in the second. If a team sticks with Duke until then, it will be a game. But often, that is where it all starts to slip away.

* Apparently the inverse of the "He never misses a free throw" Rule is true as well, as evidenced by the "Gerald hasn't scored tonight" 3 pointer.

* God, speaking of Gerald, look at those arms. Hard core NBA body. Hard core NBA game? We'll see.

* "A guy who is very effective, like Zoubek." Jesus H. Ultimate Lord, this NEVER gets old!!!

* Fay looks like he should star in High School Musical 4, after Efron leaves. Mannnnnnn-crush!

* Foul #3 on Fay was a pure frustration foul, through and through... nothing like that "I just screwed up, I'm going to grab a hold of an opposing player in a desperate attempt to make up for it now" foul.

* Oh man... look at the foul disparity. Cue the whiney ***** Cryolina fans in 3, 2, 1...

* Anyone catch that graphic for Mullins "-3rd in School History for Assists?" Negative 3rd? Seriously? Do you really need the dash in an isolated graphic like that?

* The Ultimate Lord doesn't adore Nolan's dribble when under pressure; he sometimes has this awkward skip-step that feels like a turnover waiting to happen.

* Wow, K got EXCITED over that multiple save, multiple jump play. Love that!

* Since the wrist injury, it seems like Gerald has lost that midrange pull-up shot and depended more on the 3 and the drive... it is a shame, because the midrange pull-up is a good weapon for Gerald, and leads to more "Troy" jokes for The Ultimate Lord.

* Amazing there aren't more strained backs in basketball when you see a guy go up for a layup and get hammered/held/pushed down by a foul.

* Oh JESUS Singler went down HARD. Arrrgghh! Right into the pylon! God that looked HORRIBLE. Just terrible. So glad he bounced back up. And cue the Tyler Zeller comparisons in 3, 2, 1...

* VMI 133, Stevenson 72?! JEEZ VMI scores a LOT.

* The Ultimate Lord loves the ref/coach relationship. We always just think it is yelling and fighting, but there is SO much more there. The Ultimate Lord would love to have them both miked during a game so we could hear them.

* Chris Paul... 12 assists a GAME?! Jeez. Wonder what his Punch-in-the-nuts per game average is?

* Great to see the free throws really improve.

* Wait; there are 3 ingredients to drawing fouls, and the third is being in a position to draw a foul? Uh... why bother with the other two? Isn't that third one enough?

* Carlton Fay totally speaks with a Scottish accent.

* OHHHH GERALD!! JEEZ!!! Seriously, two NASTY nasty dunks in a single HALF!! And both times, the Duke player gave a little stare-down... can't remember the last time we've had two such intense dunks in a single half. Anyone?

* Heh... love hearing Bobby K praise Coach K.

* Playing even with Duke for 25 minutes actually doesn't mean that much. Many teams do that. It is the playing-even-for-40 minutes that matter.

* BTW; just to reintroduce... Cameron W! Ahhh so lovely!

* Anyone else think that Kevin Dillard actually looked a bit like maybe Demarcus? Same angelic look. Not the same bowling-balls-for-shoulders.

* Jeez... NO ONE in Puerto Rico for that St. John's game. Never seen an arena so empty. What, was there a blizzard and no one could make it?

* Thank god Gerald really stepped up... The Ultimate Lord was getting very, very nervous.

* All in all, a good game. The first was bowling-shoe ugly, but the second was vastly improved, and it was nice to see Gerald really step it up... we will need him to be an All-Star if we want to make it deep into March. Kyle did well, Jon with his traditional nose for the ball... Nolan was a bit unsure at times, but he'll be fine. And the surprise of the game?

Brian Zoubek, who was praised the entire game by Bob Knight, who actually said that a player wasn't effective like Zoubek, that not even Zoubek would have caught an errant pass, and that it was good, very good, that Duke passed it to Zoubek.



Who woulda thunkit?


It is great to be back, and it is GREAT to have basketball start again!

Go Duke! And bring on the Bruins!

What the Chapel Hill parachutist was REALLY thinking...

Someone sent this to The Ultimate Blog...

... and The Ultimate Lord felt obligated to share.


Danny Danny Danny... didn't anyone tell you that before you abnoxiously pop your jersey at opposing fans, you should wipe Daddy's coke off of your upper lip?

The Ultimate Truths - Sponsored by Opera Steve

Hello, The Ultimate Flock! Please, allow The Ultimate Lord to shepherd you tonight, on the eve of that hallowed time (to everyone but Huckleberry) of the ACC tourney, the eve of the Duke Invitational, to... The Ultimate Truths!

* Oh, you thought Duke played WELL against Carolina, Doug?! Well, there is the absolute, goddamn, incontrevertible proof we have all been waiting for that you are a goddamn moron. As if we needed anymore.

* So. Sitting down, sipping the drink, munching on some sourdough pretzels... uh...whoa... is that guy... singing? Opera? Seriously? "WEARING THE COLORS PROUDLY!" Seriously? "GEORGIA TECCCCCCH!" Wow. Worst... intro... EVER. The Ultimate Fellow Duke Alumn called and asked "Uh... was that meant as a joke?" The Ultimate Lord wasn't sure how to respond. Just... wow.

* Opera Steve. We have a name to go with the... voice. Yikes.

* Wonder if Causey will go all Undertaker on us tonight? "Taylor King, you will... REST.... IN.... PEACE!!!"

* Hm, low camera angle at Bobcats Arena. Good for plays in the near post, crap everywhere else.

* 2 fouls in 31 seconds on Kyle. Suck.

* Hm, Morrow's hometown. Hate that; gives him an excuse to step it up. Hope he used up his good game LAST game!

* BTW, give this a look; Digger is crazy, and they all know it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...g.blogspot.com/

* Great zave by Zoubek! Get on the floor, big guy!

* Able to dunk by 6th grade? What the hell kind of graphic was that?

* Speaking of able to dunk by 6th grade; The Ultimate Lord missed it, was that about Causey? Or Greg? Or Brian?

* (in his best alto) "THAAAAAAAAT'S WHAT YOU DOOOOOOOOOOO, WHEN YOU ARE REPRESENTING THE ACC!" You go, Opera Steve!

* Bring back Cameron W.! We love her.

Seriously, she could not be any MORE blond. Yum.

* Can't believe Zoubek caught that bullet pass from Taylor. Good hands!

* Speaking of Zoubek, real nice job catching and passing recently; helps break the press nicely!

* The Ultimate Lord needs a Gerald Henderson pull-up jumper like Homer needs to write a sequel to the Illiad so Brad can star in "Troy: The Return of Brad."

* Mo' Miller, mo' possession arrows.

* Scheyer and McClure, it is good to see them, and great to see them back in form a bit! Two of the highest IQ guys we have.

* Speaking of Dave, brilliant tip by him to where Demarcus was GOING to be. Lance could take some notes.

* To be fair, Lance played pretty well tonight. Put it in the "step forward" category. Up next? Two steps nowhere.

* Hm. Trigger words? A trigger word got K that tech? What, like maybe the word "mother?" As in, "After the game, I'm going to bang your mo..." Oh nevermind. Whatever K said, The Ultimate Lord is sure he deserved a bench warning.

* Sorry, but what Gerald has Causey guarding him, Hendo should go right around him.

* That OnStar commercial leaves The Ultimate Lord wondering about the woman (heh, even in commercials women are crappy drivers) in the accident; she never speaks, did she live? Or is the nice OnStar lady using her most reassuring voice to a bloody corpse?

* Mo' Miller, Mo' Opera Steve.

* Apparently the Jon Scheyer circus hasn't left town!

* Mo' Miller, Mo' phantom foul calls that wipe out brilliant Dave McClure blocks.

* Hey, Dunkin Donuts, what is fretalian for "Go to Hell Carolina?"

* At the point in the game when it was 36-24, The Ultimate Wife walked through and broke out into "Brickhouse," by Lionel Richie.

* The Ultimate Lord likes the short-lived press, which keeps the pressure on just long enough to let the D set up and then falls back.

* Heh. "You knew that whatever was going to happen, it wasn't going to be good." Yikes. Poor Aminu; The Ultimate Lord supposes four drive fakes isn't a good thing?

* Does Causey look vaguely like Heath Ledger?

* Does Paul Hewitt look vaguely like Opera Steve?

* Speaking of Opera Steve, does his mother call him Opera Steven?
* Right currency exchange? Jesus H. Ultimate Lord, talk about an inappropriate metaphor that went on WAYYYYYY too long.

* Some nice blocks by Demarcus.

* Hmm. Chik-fil-a. Never has a pickle on a chicken sandwich tasted so good. Much better sponsor than Butterball.

* Opera Steve: "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!"

* Heh, even the announcers are making fun of Opera Steve.



* Which one kicks *** with Jackie Chan, and which one just got his *** kicked by Duke and Brian "Jackie Chan" Zoubek?

* K is really going with the platoon system of subs. Is that just to keep guys fresh early in the post-season? The Ultimate Lord does like seeing this proactive approach, and enjoyed seeing King hit a 3, play some D, and hustle!

* Woof, G-Tech really ratcheted up the intensity.

* Mo' Jeramis, Mo' Tats.

* Duke does a terrific job of exaggerating it? Screw you. Nice to then follow it up with the old "High IQ players, they even sprint to the bench!" stuff.

* Which would you rather have; the rap that has taken over every single telecast of basketball, or Opera Steve? The Ultimate Lord thinks He might actually take... Opera Steve. Woof. Sad, sad world.

* PIECE OF CRAP DVR!!!! SIX MISSED MINUTES!! What G-Tech run? What Duke run? What Kyle steal to a Demarcus 3? What dagger Kyle 3? GODDAMN CABLEVISION!

* Hm, talk all you want about Coach K adjusting after 27 years of coaching; he still finished 5th in voting for ACC coach of the year. What a chump!

* Wow, they really are counting down the "lasts." Last basket, last shot, last sip of gatorade, last hustle play by Causey, last post-game naked Twister™ party with some sophomore ball bunnies... whoops, they didn't mention that last one on the air.

* BTW, what ARE they called in basketball? In hockey they are puck bunnies... is there an equivalent for basketball? Inquiring minds want to know!

* Hm, that is a hottie in the tunnel with Chicken Fried Rice!

* K = Klassy

And finallly...

* No Mo' George Tech, No Mo' Miller jokes. Oh well, there is always next year.

The Ultimate Truths; Lick The Ultimate Wahoo!

* Demarcus is third in the ACC in field goal percentage? Impressive, especially for a guard!

* The Ultimate Lord loves Gregs crooked smile in his headshot. It is such a "Hey there, go screw yourself!" grin. Good stuff.

* Speaking of Paulus; he really kicks his feet out when he shoots. Has he always done that, or is that relatively new?

* Also speaking of Paulus; quite a shiner on his face. Ask anyone at Idiot Central and they'll probably say he did it to himself.

* Welcome to the Jungle... Jump... yeah yeah yeah... at Cameron we don't need that piped-in crap to get pumped up. Just let the band play and the Crazies go... well, crazy!

* Seven players have lead Duke in scoring? Wow; that is like all the starters leading as well as two bench guys. That is crazy.

* Dave Leito looks presidential. Or maybe just like the bad guy advisor in "Dave," Bob Alexander.

* BTW, WTF is a Wahoo?

* Singletary uses the stutter-step/change of speed really, really well. The guys were having a hard time staying in front of him early in the game before he ran out of gas. Admittedly, three games in five days is tough.

* Duke hasn't run the triple-screen-at-the-top-of-the-key in a while. Not a part of the Pheonix Suns offense?

* That dell ink/Staples commercial is annoying; just slap that idiot who is freaking out about the printer, please!

* Speaking of Staples... do you think Phil Ford's wife comes with an Easy button?

* Man, The Ultimate Lord thought the Will Ferrell lying on the bench thing was a bust on Kris Lang... turns out not so much. Oh well.

* Milkalawhatever is a chunky monkey!

* " Paulus and Singletary are dueling!" Or, if you ask the kids, they are "versing" each other. Ohhhhh The Ultimate Lord doesn't like THAT one.

* Heh, Singletary with a FAKE behind the head pass. That is pretty ballsy.

* Hm, lots of guys named Bill in the best NCAA players of all time. Coincidence? Or conspiracy? On another note, The Ultimate Lord always thought the name "Robert" lent itself to success.

* Well now, how about THAT?! Elmore bitching about about playing Walton at a neutral site? Once a Terp...

* Scheyer at point? Interesting.

* Singler's 3s early in the game looked like they had a lot of arc on them.

* "Singletary will be called for palming the ball?! No way! Terrible refs! Whine whine whine, let's show the replay, whine whin... oh. Hm, how about that, they got it right?" Just like Duke is always living and dying by the 3, ESPN is living and dying by trashing the refs. Seriously, this is the worst it has been that The Ultimate Lord can ever remember.

* The UVA cheerleaders blow. And not in the good way.

* OHHHH that Singler to Paulus save, Paulus drive and kick to Singler for 3 was SICK. Too bad they responded with a three.

* "Singler with a tough turn to his left." Keep trying Kyle, in the end even Derrick Zoolander turned to his left successfully!

* Paulus has awesome, awesome vision. Helps to have a guy on the end of those passes who can jump through the roof, of course.

* Gerald Sr.; straight up P-I-M-P in that hat.

* The Ultimate Lord loves Duke Zone. The again, the grass is always greener...

* Dude, that Mariachi guy makes The Ultimate Lord want to eat Taco Bell and pick up chicks all at once. Hola...!

* Coach K = a good damn soldier and a good damn American who looks out for his fellow soldiers, and all of the America haters at Idiot Central can suck on The Ultimate Wahoo.

* Zoubs gave up on that rebound at the end there; guess the shot clock sounds a bit like the horn?

* When the charges aren't coming and the other team is pulling up, the zone shows up? Interesting...

* Hot in here and both teams are showing the effect? Uh, not really; the Wahoos might be bent over holding their shorts, but the Blue Devils aren't.

* Paulus got wrecked on that 3 attempt and no foul?

* Speaking of Paulus, opposing fans really care for Greg Paulus. They just love him. Seriously. How else would you explain the fact that every time he gets bloodied and has to come out of the game, they boo?

* Singletary fouled Zoubek and Zoubek couldn't get the ball in the hoop? Come on Brian, you have a FOOT on that guy!

* Speaking of Singletary, looks like he used up his career game one game early, eh?

* Baker has an UGLY, ugly shot.

* Glad Mike corrected himself on that "Singletary has the most heart blah blah" comment before The Ultimate Lord had to call a limo, take it to the local airport, get in The Ultimate Private Plane, fly down to Virginia, get a limo from the airport to the Days Inn, go up to room 211, knock on the door while calling out "Room service!" and slap the piss out of Patrick when he opened the door for such a stupid comment.

* What a shot by Scheyer! The circus is in town!

* Kyle seemed to be shooting threes pretty early in the shot clock when we were in stall ball; a freshman mistake, or orders from K to help him break out of his mini-slump?

* Speaking of Kyle; The Ultimate Lord LOVES him with the ball during stall ball time; why don't we use that more often?

* Duke might have bad luck with our podiatrist, but man that strength and conditioning coach is the MAN.

* Love Scheyer playing D on Singletary; this isn't the first time that Jon's mix of athleticism, smarts, and length have bothered a shorter guard.

* Lance still has crappy hands.

* Greg > Sean.

And finally...

* Hope K catches Dean on Saturday; how appropriate would that be?

GO TO HELL CAROLINA, GO TO HELL!

The Search for the Ultimate Truth; UNC fans

Recently someone started "trash talk" about UNC and Duke; The Ultimate Lord figured He would share some... Ultimate Trash!

The University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill sucks. It is a crap ass school filled with stupid hicks who sound like characters from Hee Haw, and is proud of a heritage that includes trying to kill United States soldiers and destroy the United States of America. That ugly, sissy-ass baby blue color only looks good stripped off of girls whom The Ultimate Lord is destroying in the sack, which happened regularly in The Ultimate Lord's undergrad years at Duke, because the Carolina girls were impressed by any guy who could afford to buy a meal and could spell a four letter word like D-U-K-E. Roy is a whiny little loser who couldn't win the NIT with his own players, much less a national title, and UNC fans are gutless, stupid, backwater losers who are obsessed with a clearly superior school, adore trashing their own players when they don't play well, trashing their coaches who do things like lead them to multiple Final Fours and recruit championship winning teams, and crying when they pull the choke-job of a lifetime against Georgetown... whoops! Their respected coach, Dean Smith, coached for 60 years and still won fewer titles than Coach K; however, he CAN be thanked for bringing Four Corners to basketball, which resulted in a bunch of guys throwing the ball to each other rather than playing basketball and resulted in scores of 12-8... good thing he won a lot of games like that to pad his record! Too bad K will STILL pass him in an era where holding onto the ball for thirty nine minutes and 45 seconds isn't allowed. Rasheed couldn't read to save his LIFE, and Serge couldn't shoot free throws to save his life. Oh, and Jeff nailed Phil's wife, probably doggie style in Phil's own bed, and no one, including the supposedly moral coach, did a DAMN thing about it.

In closing, if The Ultimate Lord may quote The King of the Quad, yelling directly at the womens studies dorm;

"YOU... ARE A BITCH. GO BACK... TO THE KITCHEN."

The Ultimate Truth; If you can't go to college go to State!

Welcome, Ultimate Faithful, to another installment of The Ultimate Truths!

Let The Ultimate Lord start by saying He had to watch on TiVo, as He and The Ultimate Wife managed to lock themselves out of the new house in their bare feet with four inches of snow on the ground, and He then had to trek down the block in the aforementioned bare feet through those aforementioned four inches of snow to get a key from a neighbor. Snow is very cold.

Then let The Ultimate Lord follow up by saying that, thanks to getting used to a new TiVo, some of the game was missed. Yes, including the big run at the end.

Anyway... lets get started!

* Five guys averaging double figures? Wow, that is crazy.

* The Ultimate Wife upon seeing Sidney Lowe's jacket; (in a slightly stunned tone) "That is a nice jacket."

* The Ultimate Lord likes the blue unis this year.

* The Ultimate Lord also likes that there is so much football toughness on this team. They get beat and battered, but always come back. Opposing teams have tried SO hard to out-tough us this year, and The Ultimate Lord thinks they have all fallen short.

* Hm, cute girl sitting behind Greg on the bench!

* Butterball, peanuts... man, the sponsors at NC State are pretty third rate.

* BTW, the State crowd is DELUSIONAL with their boos.

* Man. If Patterson had come to Duke, we would all be lamenting the loss of our National Title right now.

* Singler plays the best hands-up, non-foul post D that The Ultimate Lord has seen in a while.

* "This one I don't like." Raft you idiot; the second charge was a lot less questionable than the first.

* Speaking of Raft, that animated version of him was terrible.

* @ the 11:15 mark we may not have hit a shot, and we are only down by 1? Crazy.

* That "angelic" look?! Hey, that is © and ™ Demarcus Nelson!

* Zoubek is looking better and better.

* "You better get away with that in the Bronx!" Man, Raft leaves The Ultimate Lord shaking his head at times... what in the hell is he talking about?

* The Oregon Trail was an awesome game. The hunting part was the best, especially when you shot a bear. Having said that, The Ultimate Lord suspects that Kevin Love would provide more meat than any bear.

* McClure, when he has been in, has looked a little more aggressive when looking for his shot the last few games.

* McCauley celebration = the poor man's Batista

* It is not Gerald's. The Ultimate Lord hopes he doesn't take it. Amazing block tho, can't believe we didn't get a replay.

* Our zone late in the first looked totally clueless when it came to guarding the 3 point line.

* Seriously, Sidney Lowe, all massive with that buttoned red jacket and those black pants looks RIDICULOUS on the sidelines.

* Ah! The Ultimate Lord liked seeing K draw up a play for Taylor to shoot a 3 at the end of the half!

* Gonzalez = Ugly. The Ultimate Lord doesn't like him.

* Jesus Kyle is awesome. So old school; before the season started, people liked to use Larry Bird as a comparison; that seems pretty apt.

* A career high against Duke. Hm, it feels like it has been a while since we heard that. Remember in Redick's last year when an opposing player got a career high in EVERY GAME?

* Heh. Lance wouldn't know a "speed dribble" if it ran up and bit him on the ass. Too bad, would have loved to see the big guy throw one down.

* ARGH Tivo! Oh well, The Ultimate Lord will just go live and s... 15 SECONDS?!? DUKE BY 1?!?! Argh, The Ultimate Lord is not emotionally prepared for this!!! What the hell happened?!

* Why on earth didn't State call a TO after they got that rebound?

* Great to see the guys gather around K instantly at the end of the game.

* Of course everyone has seen this coming, but the ACC title is really going to come down to the Duke/UNC game. You know, the game with all the recruits there? The game that might determine a number 1 seed? No pressure, no pressure.

* 800. Congrats to Coach K; we Dukies couldn't ask for a better coach and man to represent us on such a big stage.

The Ultimate Truth; The Jackets Get Stung (by Truth!)

Whelp, as spring follows winter, so too do The Ultimate Truths follow a Duke win over Georgia Tech!!!

* The Ultimate Lord likes Paul Hewitt. Unlike Al Skinner, who looks like a horse. Speaking of Paul, was the mic near him turned WAY up tonight, or is he just very loud?

* Mo' Miller, mo' problems.

* Duke has had some great ally-oop dunks this year, but man we don't seem to have those long, open-floor dribble dunk type of guys.

* ZUNK!!!

* The Ultimate Lord likes Causey. In fact, The Ultimate Lord has a soft spot for most hard working, scrappy, full of heart white boys. Ru-dy, Ru-dy, Ru-dy!

* Remember when Aminu, before he even wore a Wake Forest uniform, took a steaming crap all over Tim Duncan? Hah!

* BTW, because The Ultimate Lord forgot to mention this last game; that tech on Zoubek was CRAP. Zoubek was literally saying to the ref "Do you see what he is saying to me?" and then the ref blew a T and Zoubek thought he had finally been avenged! What a load of total crap.

* Like the behind the back dribble by King, but a missed layup?!?! The Ultimate Lord places the responsibility of King's recent shooting cold streak on K's hit-or-miss style of playing him; shooters need to play and get some consistent touch or they lose that ability to stroke it.

* Diversity of the ACC? Heh, unless this is a story about Duke playing six white guys, The Ultimate Lord will believe it when He sees it. Or maybe it is a story on the racial make-up of teams coached by an African American head coach? Hm nope, that is taboo.

* Seriously? Judgement Week? Next week: ESPN features "Follow the Yellow Brick Road... to March Madness! Week," brought to you by Kay Jewellers; every kiss begins with Kay!

* Heh, the guys in the Bud Light ad REALLY got their cheese up!

* Uh, yeah Gerald's ally-oop was nice, but the one hand shovel pass by Paulus was UNREAL!! Greg has real QB eyes.

* BTW, not only has Greg stayed good at the 3, but he is leading the ACC in assist to turnover. Considering how badly folks were riding him, The Ultimate Lord thinks Greg has answered those questions. Really improved handle, too. It seems like in every game that an announcer says "We got to the arena blah blah early, and Greg Paulus was already here practicing his shot/dribble/free throws." Greg really has been working hard to improve; kudos!

* Heh, anyone notice in the VCAST add that for a billionth of a second you can see that Maryland has beaten UNC 82-80? Good. Not great. But good. Somewhere some Maryland fans are burning stuff!

* Mo G-Tech style athletes, mo' problems.

* Still, 3 > 2.

* (in a thick Scottish accent) We have a Devil down, we have a Devil down!

* How many of you watch ESPN feeds but listen to the radio play-by-play? Apparently K was lighting into King in the huddle.

* College sports >>>>>>>>>>>>> Pro sports

* Gerald is really not going to the midrange pull-up at all.

* Is that Wojo going to Causey's aid at the half? The Ultimate Lord supposes it might be... members of LSWGA DO have to stick together!

* By the by, LSWGA = Little Scrappy White Guys of America. Turns out it wasn't Wojo tho.

* Heh, Dickie V in a Hooters commercial = KLASSIC, BABY! NOW PASS ME SOME BREASTS... SOME CHICKEN BREASTS, BABY!!

* The Ultimate Lord loves video games in TV broadcasts. Wierd that they didn't, you know.. actually USE the video game to show anything, but instead just used it as a background for a graphic.

* Mo Miller, mo aggressiveness?

* Paulus is much better when he looks to score both off the dribble AND off the 3. He started to do that more as the preseason OOC games wound down... maybe he felt more comfortable with the foot?

* Whoa, that Matt Causey eyes-rolled-back look was SCARY. Like, Undertaker scary.



Was he just testing his eyes? Or was that unintentional? The Ultimate Lord has to believe he was just trying to shake the visual cobwebs loose.

* Since the losses started it has felt like Demarcus has been kind of quiet. Stats look about at his average tho, so not sure where that feeling has come from.

* GTech has gotten blown for some real questionable fouls.

* The problem, Len, is you can hurt your team more than you can help?! THAT is the problem? Not that he is risking further injury, but that he could hurt his team?

* Speaking of Causey, the production truck has apparently dedicated a camera to Causey; Causeycam! They are just PRAYING for his head to spin around and spit split-pea soup.

* "Under Coach K, Duke has dominated the ACC like nobody has." Heh. Eat that, you Carolina pansies.

* Great between the legs save by Gerald!

* On the next save, Gerald's foot hit the barricade between court and fans before he threw the ball; does that count of out of bounds, or do you have to touch the FLOOR? Inquiring minds want to know!

* Mo Matt Causey eye rolling, mo ESPN happiness.

* Lance is currently on a plateau; not improving, not getting worse. Or maybe it is a butte. Or a mesa?

* Ahhh, stall ball; thank god!

* "What are we talking about?!" Okay, that argument over the backcourt was wierd enough (not to mention pointless; it wasn't a backcourt because the ball never got to the front court, it is pretty simple) but man, when Stacy chimed in with a "Dude, what the hell are you guys talking about?" it hit a WHOLE NEW PLATEAU (or butte, or mesa) of wierd.

* UNC is going to be a real damn handful.

* Sorry, but The Ultimate Lord is NOT convinced that there has ever been a Duke player more athletic than Gerald. Not Grant, not Corey, not Johnny, not Dhantay.

* BTW, speaking of Gerald, his D is really great.

* Not hitting 3s... is it bad luck, other teams playing good perimeter D, or... the dreaded TIRED LEGS? Inquiring minds want to know!

And finally...

* 799. Congrats, and thanks Coach.

The Ultimate Truth; Suck my Johnny

WELCOME, Ultimate Faithful!

The Ultimate Lord knows that the flock has been yearning for... indeed, NEEDING some Ultimate Truths of late! But fear not; ye have passed through the darkest of times (2 losses in a row; we are one spoiled fan base!) and have emerged into The Light that is known as Duke basketball and known as...

THE ULTIMATE TRUTHS!


* Jon starts for the first time this year. Interesting. Wonder if pre-start K sat with him and said "Time to step it up and be a leader on this team?"

* So... wow Hi-Def. Never seen the Crazies look so good, or Kyle so pale and beat up.

* Lance gets stuffed. A lot. He also pump-fakes. A lot. Coincidence? Or would he get stuffed even MORE if he DIDN'T pump fake at all? One thing is for sure; we will never know.

* Bachman Hard Sourdough Pretzels = The Ultimate Pretzels.

* Man, Greg had to sit pretty fast. Still, will be fun to see how Nolan responds!

* The Ultimate Lord has your pretty looking lefty stroke right here, Raftery.

* Putzouback! Nice to see the big guy out there! Of course, it was promptly followed by a Zoufacial, but whatever, Brian looks much more smooth and comfortable out there.

* There is this one blond cheerleader they have shown a few times who looks even MORE radiant in HiDef. The Ultimate Lord is in love! Or at least in lust.

* Hm. Might as well retire the Troy/Brad Pitt jokes for the year. Well... maybe if the wrist is like 65%, The Ultimate Lord will just use 65% of the phrase. "Gerald, take it, i!"

* Jesus Bill looks like The Ultimate Kindly Grandfather. Almost makes The Ultimate Lord regret the lefty stroke joke. Almost.

* Gerald might not be able to shoot, but those legs ain't hurt! Speaking of his injury, anyone notice that no one is helping him up by the right hand?

* Duke takes more than their share of 3s? Hm, didn't know all teams only got a certain share of them. We probably also have more than our fair share of wins and titles. So sue us. Or just bitch about the refs, that is what everyone else does.

* Nice to hear some references to the original fans, The Crazies. The Ultimate Lord is sick of the Izzone and all those other wannabes.

* Uh, are The Ultimate Lord's eyes decieving him, or is that a skinny white Johnny?! Whoops, back to the bench with you, white boy!

* Beautiful bounce pass for the reverse lay-up by that St. Johns player, but 3 is still > than 2.

* Gotta respect the refs for really calming and addressing the St. Johns coach after that T.

* Nolan has particularly good hands and handle when recovering a fumbled, still active ball.

* B.S. call on that charge call on Demarcus in the first; clearly the result of the St. J coach working the refs with that technical.

* Okay, the drunk flying brother getting sucked into the jet engine made The Ultimate Lord snicker.

* 8 oz weights. Hah! The Ultimate Lord bets Raftery is probably a fun guy to shoot the breeze with.

* GREAT hop-step pump-fake pause by Singler to get the defender to fly past him, and a GREAT running hook. Singler is so old school it is awesome.

* Speaking of Kyle; 6'6?

* Hm, Ultimate Props to the production truck for the new graphic "1 field goal in the last (countdown of time here.)" More more accurate than the old "1 field goal in the last 6:24" which is basically obsolete in one second.

* Man that cheerleader is adorable. What is her name? Reminds me of Erika Christensen.

* WHOA reverse angle on that replay of the Scheyer three! WTF? The Ultimate Lord has NEVER seen the reverse TV angle. Where did that come from?

* Zoubek is doing much better staying on his feet when defending; that has gotten better all year.

* Shame that one-hander at the buzzer didn't count. At least we got to see the Kyle Smile! BTW, speaking of Kyle; that guy really gets smacked around every game. Tough kid.

* Damn enlarged prostate.

* Interesting when King was basically open for a long, ill-advised three, and he gave it up to Greg who promptly took the same shot. Wonder what the thought process for both guys was?

* Speaking of King, that guy has a LOT of enthusiasm when he is on that bench. He is the first to jump up and start cheering. He isn't going anywhere.

* Ahhh Bill Cartwright; The Ultimate Lord remembers him well from the old NBA 93 game!

* "TV doesn't do his size justice." Who is he, the Big Show? Are his hands like skillets?

* "The Landlord would be a great asset." Ya think?

* Why is a ticky tack foul called a "nickel and dimer?" Heck, why is it called a ticky tack foul?

* Sit Kyle; he is a freshman, we gotta avoid the freshman wall. Let him rest, get Taylor some burn!

* Ask and you shall recieve!

* Nolan is smart; had a few drives where he could tell that a Duke player was in excellent rebounding position. That thinking-ahead basketball IQ is SO important to be an effective driver.

* Word from the bench; apparently K feels that Taylor is doing all the little things well. Shame he didn't hit those two 3s!

* "A pretty stroke." "Deflection from the rear." "Give it a smooch." "Grab from the rear." "A real stud." Man, Bill Raftery is SO gay.

* Speaking of SO, St. John's is SO young. NINE freshmen. That is pretty insane. Also, very interesting how St. Johns is such a city based team. Ten guys from New York. What other schools recruit so heavily within their own region?

* Lance has absolutely no chin whatsoever. Maybe he can draw himself one?

* Speaking of Lance, seeing him and Zoubek out there at the same time is real, real interesting. Almost like K is accepting he has to develop a little traditional basketball game... as long as Gerald can recover in time for March, maybe his injury won't be all bad in that it will lead to some mixing it up and developing of other schemes?

* Speaking of March... the NCAA tournament was a lot more fun when players stuck around for awhile. It is a lot less fun when the one-and-done wonderkids make all the difference.

* Love the "Ole ole ole ole!" chant on the kick ball.

* That went IN?! Jesus Gerald can JUMP. The Ultimate Lord didn't even SEE that.

* Speaking of that ally oop, tho, anyone else notice how quickly Gerald let go of the rim with that injured wrist? Poor kid, hope he can recover a bit this year, although apparently surgery will be required in the off season.

* Anyone else hear the "Please don't shoot Lincoln!" chant when Boothe was at the line? No? Was it just The Ultimate Lord?

* Shame that they are discussing moving the broadcasters down to the floor if they renovate Cameron. Hope that never happens; The Ultimate Lord isn't sure how He would cope without that traditional shot of the crows nest each game. Maybe they can compensate by using some of the opposite side camera they used in that Scheyer replay?

* Zou zou? Seriously? Isn't that the little girl from "It's a Wonderful Life?"

(As a matter of fact, it is, and here is a signed doll of her you can own for yourself.)

http://cgi.ebay.com/Its-a-Wond...1QQcmdZViewItem

* The Ultimate Lord wonders: are the chairs on the bench regular size? It always seems like the big guys are sitting with their knees jacked up to their chins; couldn't someone take a break from making a thousand personalized weights for the basketball center and make some, like, extra big folding chairs for the players?

* Lee kissing the floor = one of the best senior moments ever.

* Zouzou's hands = much improved.

* As a fan, even tho the head hears and understands "recovering from an injury," the heart doesn't always get it, so it is nice to see Brian really coming along nicely.

* Late in the game and the lineup is King, Zoubek, McClure, Smith, and Davidson. Ten bucks says some sissy Hole over at IC starts a thread titled "Dook leaves starters in until the end, stupid Dook!"

* Damn; the first African American player in Duke basketball history graduated in 1969? Does that seem REALLY late, or is The Ultimate Lord just crazy?

And finally...

* Her name is Cameron W. She is working towards a major in art history, and two minors; one in Biology and one in Chemistry. The Ultimate Lord senses a beautiful, classically educated doctor!

http://www.goduke.com/ViewArti...p;ATCLID=562102

The Ultimate Truth; time to riot, Terps!

Hello, Ultimate Faithful!

Whelp, The Ultimate Lord is recovering from a night of brazilian steakhouses and T&Ts, so He is a little too tipsy for TOO many Ultimate Truths... but then again, what is a game against Maryland without them!?! So... The Ultimate Lord brings you just a handful of medium rare, Tanguery-soaked... ULTIMATE TRUTHS!!

* A... hm, what do you call it when two teams play? You know, when one doesn't like the other? And they play a few times, and it is intense? And the fans hate each other? Starts with an "r," ends in a "y?" Repeatedly? Regardlessly? Redickulously? Jesus H. Senior moment, Mike Patrick. Thank god for the guy in the truck whispering it in his ear. And where did those glasses come from, Mike? Are you maybe going shooting after the game?

* More intense than UNC? Oh come on, we know ESPN is trying to build up this "rivalry," but give The Ultimate Lord a break.

* What the heck happened to General Greivis? Did someone punch him in both eyes, or is the glare of the lights so bad that he puts a little cork under each one before the game? Or is he just badly in need of a bar of Irish Spring and a washcloth? Don't forget to scrub off that crap on your chin too, Greivis!

* Our three point shooting is insane. Very interesting to watch how K balances a lack of size with the sheer power of the waterfall of 3s. Hope all the guys don't go cold all at once... in a one-and-done, that would suck.

* Osby's fro continues to terrify.

* Gary continues to terrify.

* It seems that as of late Duke has changed the entire art of rebounding. Rather than simply depend on being bigger, Duke players have changed their rebounding form to jump (we have great jumpers) and punch the ball AWAY from the assumed point of rebound, depending then on a second jump and on excellent positioning to regain control of rebounds. Very interesting tactic to overcome a lack of simple height. Another reason Coach K should win Coach of the Year.

* The Ultimate Wife felt very bad when the Crazies began a "Sweat Gary, sweat!" She felt it would make sweaty people everywhere very self-conscious. And then she started to sweat.

* Great use of McClure on Osby, and a real smooth move to take him to the hoop. In fact, our guys seem to adjust to failures of the defense VERY very smoothly, even down to adjusting when a defender slips a touch or just gets off-balance.

* Nice Zoublock on his first play! Keep it up, Brian!

* Lance has really cut down on those hedge-out-fouls that he used to call defense.

* Screw Van Gundy.

* Gerald, The Ultimate Lord hasn't been able to make a Troy joke in like... two games. Come on... just... take it. Come on... just reach your hand out... all gentle... and take it. It's yours. Come on now. Brad Pitt jokes are money!

* Kyle is just so, so smart. Smartest freshman since... jeez, Battier?

* Gary still has the fire of 30 years ago? Dude, Dick; that isn't fire. That is mother f'in CRAZY it what that is, and crazy doesn't go away with age.

* Whoa. Did Dick just say that Osby rides a bicycle around campus? Uh... is that as racist as it sounds, or is The Ultimate Lord just being a little over-sensitive?

img267/9725/osby1qe1.jpg

* Jon Scheyer is so much more athletic than anyone gives him credit for. All the haters like to say he isn't athletic at all, and The Ultimate Lord is left wondering what basketball player they are watching.

* Dick's grandkids wear the jersey of whatever team is the home team? Surprise, surprise surprise! Like granddad, like grandkid!

* Vasquez is shooting his team right out of it. Seriously, how do you go so long without getting Gist and Osby a touch? Same with UNC in the last game; you CANNOT let so many possessions go by without getting the bigs a touch. Gary should really make that point a bit more clearly, rather than spend the time bellowing at his assistant.

* Taylor King really is the most emotional guy on that bench.

* Always awesome to see K urging the crowd to get the hell up!

* Funny to hear the crowd chant "Not our rivals!" just as Mike Patrick is making a comment about beating a rival.

* So. Joe Harrington, eh? Well, at least we have a name to put with the spittle-covered face.

* Having Kyle handle the ball when stall-balling it is just great.

* And finally; what a season of revelation. Yes, revelation for the young guys, but most importantly for Greg and Demarcus. First, Greg: Freshmen year he comes into the ACC and leads the league in assists. But he also has a ton of turnovers, and it is hard to judge him when he is on a team with JJ and Shelden and McBob. Then comes last year, where he struggles with a bad wheel but we never quite figure out how much the bad wheel creates the struggle. And this year we come in with so many questions; and DAMN has Greg answered them. There is straight up not a single Duke fan anymore who would ever TRY to argue that Nolan should start, and to be able to prove every single doubter, no matter their passion, wrong is a big, big deal. Good on Greg. And as for Demarcus; again, years partially hidden by the mist of injuries. What would he be like uninjured, as a senior? Spectacular. Strong, fast, and determined, Demarcus has gotten better and better even just this year.


Good game. Always fun to beat Maryland.

Searching for The Ultimate Truth; Maryland fans

Whelp, with Maryland coming on over to Cameron in a few days, The Devils Den has, of course, seen an influx of Terps coming over here, behaving in typical Terp fashion. Generally the Terp fans who post here are aggressive and bitter and rather immature. In fact, that is the view we get of MOST Terps, who revel in turning their arena into a most un-family-friendly environment and in destroying their college "town", win or lose. They giggle at getting banned at the Duke forum, they rain curses down on opposing players (despite the rather feeble protests of their administration) and water bottles down on opposing player families (despite the rather feeble protests of their security.)

So, The Ultimate Lord thought now was as good a time as ever to have the definitive discussion:

What sets the Terp fan apart from the rest of the ACC fans?

Now, of course ALL schools have their RFB, or their Retard Fan Base. UNC has them, State has them... yes, even Duke has them. Fans who seem to root more for an opponent to lose than their own team to win, fans who angrily mock and curse, fans who engage in immature smack talk with opposing fans in some desperate attempt to prove they belong... fans who generally embarass their fellow fans with their behaviors and their attitudes.

But the sheer number of them at The University of Maryland at College Park, and the bitter, vitriolic anger they seem to have, appears to dwarf all the rest.

So... what causes this?

*Is it a simple inferiority complex? Maryland is perfectly acceptable for a public school, and a top 100 university. However, when compared to powerhouses like Duke, Maryland doesn't quite stack up, either in terms of education or achievement, and this is reinforced every time Dick Vitale talks about the accomplishments of the epitome of basketball fans, the Cameron Crazies, and every time another beautiful shot of the Chapel of or Cameron Indoor is shown. Does going to an inferior school in a decidedly ugly and unwelcoming environment breed a serious, deep inferiority complex in Terp students?

*Is it purely "We have lost to you for so long we are bitter?" Maryland has long been a second rate ACC team and barely a blip on the national radar, especially being saddled by sharing a conference with such legendary programs as Duke and UNC. Then Maryland hit a tiny bump with a few good players and a sudden national title, creating a "generation" of grads who thought this was what was to come, that this was Marylands rightful and deserved spot in the basketball universe. Of course Maryland fell apart afterwards and returned to its traditional mediocrity, as everyone but a core of Terps expected. But was this tiny taste of excellence so sweet that without it the Terps were reduced to adject bitterness? And was this bitterness even more bitter because they watched Duke continue its stratospheric success after its own down time?

*Is it a reflection of their coach? Gary Williams has long been known as a bitter, obsessed man. His failed marriage was haunted by stories of Gary, angry and alone, sleeping in his car. His career has been haunted with almosts and so-closes, and in the end Gary has always turned, screaming and cursing and full of anger, to outside forces to explain his failures. It has always been the refs or the league or the media or even his own players and his own staff; never GARY. The Ultimate Lord would wager that in his failed marriage, it probably wasn't Gary's fault either, in the end. Gary rarely takes charge, and rarely accepts responsibility for things he doesn't want to. Remember the whole "Gary will get the Terp fans to be nicer?" thing? And how did that work? And does this tendency to blame failure on others, to avoid shouldering responsibility, to feel like somehow the universe ripped him off, somehow get reflected in the Terp fans, who embrace the bitter, angry coach and somehow decide that the universe has ripped THEM off?

*Or does something about The University of Maryland at College Park just invite a less-classy individual? The Ultimate Lord finds this the least likely explanation, especially since He knows a few Terps who are lovely people... but maybe someone knows something The Ultimate Lord doesn't know? (Hard to believe, of course...)

Maybe The Ultimate Lord is wrong. Maybe the "vocal minority" at The University of Maryland at College Park is just more vocal than most. Maybe with such a huge enrollment there are simply more OF them. But somehow Terp fans always seem to reinforce the stereotype, be it with riots or entire student bodies ignoring their ineffectual administration and repeatedly embarassing their university at nationally televised sporting events.

When you look at the hatred some UNC fans feel towards Duke, there are deeper issues, class issues and North/South issues. But with Maryland, what is it? Is it one of these theories? A mix? Something else? If there are any sane Terp fans around who wish to contribute, please do. And for the rest of the Duke fans, with so many Terp fans around here over the next few days, there is ample time to consider; what do YOU think?