The Ultimate Truths - Sponsored by Opera Steve

Hello, The Ultimate Flock! Please, allow The Ultimate Lord to shepherd you tonight, on the eve of that hallowed time (to everyone but Huckleberry) of the ACC tourney, the eve of the Duke Invitational, to... The Ultimate Truths!

* Oh, you thought Duke played WELL against Carolina, Doug?! Well, there is the absolute, goddamn, incontrevertible proof we have all been waiting for that you are a goddamn moron. As if we needed anymore.

* So. Sitting down, sipping the drink, munching on some sourdough pretzels... uh...whoa... is that guy... singing? Opera? Seriously? "WEARING THE COLORS PROUDLY!" Seriously? "GEORGIA TECCCCCCH!" Wow. Worst... intro... EVER. The Ultimate Fellow Duke Alumn called and asked "Uh... was that meant as a joke?" The Ultimate Lord wasn't sure how to respond. Just... wow.

* Opera Steve. We have a name to go with the... voice. Yikes.

* Wonder if Causey will go all Undertaker on us tonight? "Taylor King, you will... REST.... IN.... PEACE!!!"

* Hm, low camera angle at Bobcats Arena. Good for plays in the near post, crap everywhere else.

* 2 fouls in 31 seconds on Kyle. Suck.

* Hm, Morrow's hometown. Hate that; gives him an excuse to step it up. Hope he used up his good game LAST game!

* BTW, give this a look; Digger is crazy, and they all know it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...g.blogspot.com/

* Great zave by Zoubek! Get on the floor, big guy!

* Able to dunk by 6th grade? What the hell kind of graphic was that?

* Speaking of able to dunk by 6th grade; The Ultimate Lord missed it, was that about Causey? Or Greg? Or Brian?

* (in his best alto) "THAAAAAAAAT'S WHAT YOU DOOOOOOOOOOO, WHEN YOU ARE REPRESENTING THE ACC!" You go, Opera Steve!

* Bring back Cameron W.! We love her.

Seriously, she could not be any MORE blond. Yum.

* Can't believe Zoubek caught that bullet pass from Taylor. Good hands!

* Speaking of Zoubek, real nice job catching and passing recently; helps break the press nicely!

* The Ultimate Lord needs a Gerald Henderson pull-up jumper like Homer needs to write a sequel to the Illiad so Brad can star in "Troy: The Return of Brad."

* Mo' Miller, mo' possession arrows.

* Scheyer and McClure, it is good to see them, and great to see them back in form a bit! Two of the highest IQ guys we have.

* Speaking of Dave, brilliant tip by him to where Demarcus was GOING to be. Lance could take some notes.

* To be fair, Lance played pretty well tonight. Put it in the "step forward" category. Up next? Two steps nowhere.

* Hm. Trigger words? A trigger word got K that tech? What, like maybe the word "mother?" As in, "After the game, I'm going to bang your mo..." Oh nevermind. Whatever K said, The Ultimate Lord is sure he deserved a bench warning.

* Sorry, but what Gerald has Causey guarding him, Hendo should go right around him.

* That OnStar commercial leaves The Ultimate Lord wondering about the woman (heh, even in commercials women are crappy drivers) in the accident; she never speaks, did she live? Or is the nice OnStar lady using her most reassuring voice to a bloody corpse?

* Mo' Miller, Mo' Opera Steve.

* Apparently the Jon Scheyer circus hasn't left town!

* Mo' Miller, Mo' phantom foul calls that wipe out brilliant Dave McClure blocks.

* Hey, Dunkin Donuts, what is fretalian for "Go to Hell Carolina?"

* At the point in the game when it was 36-24, The Ultimate Wife walked through and broke out into "Brickhouse," by Lionel Richie.

* The Ultimate Lord likes the short-lived press, which keeps the pressure on just long enough to let the D set up and then falls back.

* Heh. "You knew that whatever was going to happen, it wasn't going to be good." Yikes. Poor Aminu; The Ultimate Lord supposes four drive fakes isn't a good thing?

* Does Causey look vaguely like Heath Ledger?

* Does Paul Hewitt look vaguely like Opera Steve?

* Speaking of Opera Steve, does his mother call him Opera Steven?
* Right currency exchange? Jesus H. Ultimate Lord, talk about an inappropriate metaphor that went on WAYYYYYY too long.

* Some nice blocks by Demarcus.

* Hmm. Chik-fil-a. Never has a pickle on a chicken sandwich tasted so good. Much better sponsor than Butterball.

* Opera Steve: "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!"

* Heh, even the announcers are making fun of Opera Steve.



* Which one kicks *** with Jackie Chan, and which one just got his *** kicked by Duke and Brian "Jackie Chan" Zoubek?

* K is really going with the platoon system of subs. Is that just to keep guys fresh early in the post-season? The Ultimate Lord does like seeing this proactive approach, and enjoyed seeing King hit a 3, play some D, and hustle!

* Woof, G-Tech really ratcheted up the intensity.

* Mo' Jeramis, Mo' Tats.

* Duke does a terrific job of exaggerating it? Screw you. Nice to then follow it up with the old "High IQ players, they even sprint to the bench!" stuff.

* Which would you rather have; the rap that has taken over every single telecast of basketball, or Opera Steve? The Ultimate Lord thinks He might actually take... Opera Steve. Woof. Sad, sad world.

* PIECE OF CRAP DVR!!!! SIX MISSED MINUTES!! What G-Tech run? What Duke run? What Kyle steal to a Demarcus 3? What dagger Kyle 3? GODDAMN CABLEVISION!

* Hm, talk all you want about Coach K adjusting after 27 years of coaching; he still finished 5th in voting for ACC coach of the year. What a chump!

* Wow, they really are counting down the "lasts." Last basket, last shot, last sip of gatorade, last hustle play by Causey, last post-game naked Twister™ party with some sophomore ball bunnies... whoops, they didn't mention that last one on the air.

* BTW, what ARE they called in basketball? In hockey they are puck bunnies... is there an equivalent for basketball? Inquiring minds want to know!

* Hm, that is a hottie in the tunnel with Chicken Fried Rice!

* K = Klassy

And finallly...

* No Mo' George Tech, No Mo' Miller jokes. Oh well, there is always next year.

The Ultimate Truths; Lick The Ultimate Wahoo!

* Demarcus is third in the ACC in field goal percentage? Impressive, especially for a guard!

* The Ultimate Lord loves Gregs crooked smile in his headshot. It is such a "Hey there, go screw yourself!" grin. Good stuff.

* Speaking of Paulus; he really kicks his feet out when he shoots. Has he always done that, or is that relatively new?

* Also speaking of Paulus; quite a shiner on his face. Ask anyone at Idiot Central and they'll probably say he did it to himself.

* Welcome to the Jungle... Jump... yeah yeah yeah... at Cameron we don't need that piped-in crap to get pumped up. Just let the band play and the Crazies go... well, crazy!

* Seven players have lead Duke in scoring? Wow; that is like all the starters leading as well as two bench guys. That is crazy.

* Dave Leito looks presidential. Or maybe just like the bad guy advisor in "Dave," Bob Alexander.

* BTW, WTF is a Wahoo?

* Singletary uses the stutter-step/change of speed really, really well. The guys were having a hard time staying in front of him early in the game before he ran out of gas. Admittedly, three games in five days is tough.

* Duke hasn't run the triple-screen-at-the-top-of-the-key in a while. Not a part of the Pheonix Suns offense?

* That dell ink/Staples commercial is annoying; just slap that idiot who is freaking out about the printer, please!

* Speaking of Staples... do you think Phil Ford's wife comes with an Easy button?

* Man, The Ultimate Lord thought the Will Ferrell lying on the bench thing was a bust on Kris Lang... turns out not so much. Oh well.

* Milkalawhatever is a chunky monkey!

* " Paulus and Singletary are dueling!" Or, if you ask the kids, they are "versing" each other. Ohhhhh The Ultimate Lord doesn't like THAT one.

* Heh, Singletary with a FAKE behind the head pass. That is pretty ballsy.

* Hm, lots of guys named Bill in the best NCAA players of all time. Coincidence? Or conspiracy? On another note, The Ultimate Lord always thought the name "Robert" lent itself to success.

* Well now, how about THAT?! Elmore bitching about about playing Walton at a neutral site? Once a Terp...

* Scheyer at point? Interesting.

* Singler's 3s early in the game looked like they had a lot of arc on them.

* "Singletary will be called for palming the ball?! No way! Terrible refs! Whine whine whine, let's show the replay, whine whin... oh. Hm, how about that, they got it right?" Just like Duke is always living and dying by the 3, ESPN is living and dying by trashing the refs. Seriously, this is the worst it has been that The Ultimate Lord can ever remember.

* The UVA cheerleaders blow. And not in the good way.

* OHHHH that Singler to Paulus save, Paulus drive and kick to Singler for 3 was SICK. Too bad they responded with a three.

* "Singler with a tough turn to his left." Keep trying Kyle, in the end even Derrick Zoolander turned to his left successfully!

* Paulus has awesome, awesome vision. Helps to have a guy on the end of those passes who can jump through the roof, of course.

* Gerald Sr.; straight up P-I-M-P in that hat.

* The Ultimate Lord loves Duke Zone. The again, the grass is always greener...

* Dude, that Mariachi guy makes The Ultimate Lord want to eat Taco Bell and pick up chicks all at once. Hola...!

* Coach K = a good damn soldier and a good damn American who looks out for his fellow soldiers, and all of the America haters at Idiot Central can suck on The Ultimate Wahoo.

* Zoubs gave up on that rebound at the end there; guess the shot clock sounds a bit like the horn?

* When the charges aren't coming and the other team is pulling up, the zone shows up? Interesting...

* Hot in here and both teams are showing the effect? Uh, not really; the Wahoos might be bent over holding their shorts, but the Blue Devils aren't.

* Paulus got wrecked on that 3 attempt and no foul?

* Speaking of Paulus, opposing fans really care for Greg Paulus. They just love him. Seriously. How else would you explain the fact that every time he gets bloodied and has to come out of the game, they boo?

* Singletary fouled Zoubek and Zoubek couldn't get the ball in the hoop? Come on Brian, you have a FOOT on that guy!

* Speaking of Singletary, looks like he used up his career game one game early, eh?

* Baker has an UGLY, ugly shot.

* Glad Mike corrected himself on that "Singletary has the most heart blah blah" comment before The Ultimate Lord had to call a limo, take it to the local airport, get in The Ultimate Private Plane, fly down to Virginia, get a limo from the airport to the Days Inn, go up to room 211, knock on the door while calling out "Room service!" and slap the piss out of Patrick when he opened the door for such a stupid comment.

* What a shot by Scheyer! The circus is in town!

* Kyle seemed to be shooting threes pretty early in the shot clock when we were in stall ball; a freshman mistake, or orders from K to help him break out of his mini-slump?

* Speaking of Kyle; The Ultimate Lord LOVES him with the ball during stall ball time; why don't we use that more often?

* Duke might have bad luck with our podiatrist, but man that strength and conditioning coach is the MAN.

* Love Scheyer playing D on Singletary; this isn't the first time that Jon's mix of athleticism, smarts, and length have bothered a shorter guard.

* Lance still has crappy hands.

* Greg > Sean.

And finally...

* Hope K catches Dean on Saturday; how appropriate would that be?

GO TO HELL CAROLINA, GO TO HELL!

The Search for the Ultimate Truth; UNC fans

Recently someone started "trash talk" about UNC and Duke; The Ultimate Lord figured He would share some... Ultimate Trash!

The University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill sucks. It is a crap ass school filled with stupid hicks who sound like characters from Hee Haw, and is proud of a heritage that includes trying to kill United States soldiers and destroy the United States of America. That ugly, sissy-ass baby blue color only looks good stripped off of girls whom The Ultimate Lord is destroying in the sack, which happened regularly in The Ultimate Lord's undergrad years at Duke, because the Carolina girls were impressed by any guy who could afford to buy a meal and could spell a four letter word like D-U-K-E. Roy is a whiny little loser who couldn't win the NIT with his own players, much less a national title, and UNC fans are gutless, stupid, backwater losers who are obsessed with a clearly superior school, adore trashing their own players when they don't play well, trashing their coaches who do things like lead them to multiple Final Fours and recruit championship winning teams, and crying when they pull the choke-job of a lifetime against Georgetown... whoops! Their respected coach, Dean Smith, coached for 60 years and still won fewer titles than Coach K; however, he CAN be thanked for bringing Four Corners to basketball, which resulted in a bunch of guys throwing the ball to each other rather than playing basketball and resulted in scores of 12-8... good thing he won a lot of games like that to pad his record! Too bad K will STILL pass him in an era where holding onto the ball for thirty nine minutes and 45 seconds isn't allowed. Rasheed couldn't read to save his LIFE, and Serge couldn't shoot free throws to save his life. Oh, and Jeff nailed Phil's wife, probably doggie style in Phil's own bed, and no one, including the supposedly moral coach, did a DAMN thing about it.

In closing, if The Ultimate Lord may quote The King of the Quad, yelling directly at the womens studies dorm;

"YOU... ARE A BITCH. GO BACK... TO THE KITCHEN."

The Ultimate Truth; If you can't go to college go to State!

Welcome, Ultimate Faithful, to another installment of The Ultimate Truths!

Let The Ultimate Lord start by saying He had to watch on TiVo, as He and The Ultimate Wife managed to lock themselves out of the new house in their bare feet with four inches of snow on the ground, and He then had to trek down the block in the aforementioned bare feet through those aforementioned four inches of snow to get a key from a neighbor. Snow is very cold.

Then let The Ultimate Lord follow up by saying that, thanks to getting used to a new TiVo, some of the game was missed. Yes, including the big run at the end.

Anyway... lets get started!

* Five guys averaging double figures? Wow, that is crazy.

* The Ultimate Wife upon seeing Sidney Lowe's jacket; (in a slightly stunned tone) "That is a nice jacket."

* The Ultimate Lord likes the blue unis this year.

* The Ultimate Lord also likes that there is so much football toughness on this team. They get beat and battered, but always come back. Opposing teams have tried SO hard to out-tough us this year, and The Ultimate Lord thinks they have all fallen short.

* Hm, cute girl sitting behind Greg on the bench!

* Butterball, peanuts... man, the sponsors at NC State are pretty third rate.

* BTW, the State crowd is DELUSIONAL with their boos.

* Man. If Patterson had come to Duke, we would all be lamenting the loss of our National Title right now.

* Singler plays the best hands-up, non-foul post D that The Ultimate Lord has seen in a while.

* "This one I don't like." Raft you idiot; the second charge was a lot less questionable than the first.

* Speaking of Raft, that animated version of him was terrible.

* @ the 11:15 mark we may not have hit a shot, and we are only down by 1? Crazy.

* That "angelic" look?! Hey, that is © and ™ Demarcus Nelson!

* Zoubek is looking better and better.

* "You better get away with that in the Bronx!" Man, Raft leaves The Ultimate Lord shaking his head at times... what in the hell is he talking about?

* The Oregon Trail was an awesome game. The hunting part was the best, especially when you shot a bear. Having said that, The Ultimate Lord suspects that Kevin Love would provide more meat than any bear.

* McClure, when he has been in, has looked a little more aggressive when looking for his shot the last few games.

* McCauley celebration = the poor man's Batista

* It is not Gerald's. The Ultimate Lord hopes he doesn't take it. Amazing block tho, can't believe we didn't get a replay.

* Our zone late in the first looked totally clueless when it came to guarding the 3 point line.

* Seriously, Sidney Lowe, all massive with that buttoned red jacket and those black pants looks RIDICULOUS on the sidelines.

* Ah! The Ultimate Lord liked seeing K draw up a play for Taylor to shoot a 3 at the end of the half!

* Gonzalez = Ugly. The Ultimate Lord doesn't like him.

* Jesus Kyle is awesome. So old school; before the season started, people liked to use Larry Bird as a comparison; that seems pretty apt.

* A career high against Duke. Hm, it feels like it has been a while since we heard that. Remember in Redick's last year when an opposing player got a career high in EVERY GAME?

* Heh. Lance wouldn't know a "speed dribble" if it ran up and bit him on the ass. Too bad, would have loved to see the big guy throw one down.

* ARGH Tivo! Oh well, The Ultimate Lord will just go live and s... 15 SECONDS?!? DUKE BY 1?!?! Argh, The Ultimate Lord is not emotionally prepared for this!!! What the hell happened?!

* Why on earth didn't State call a TO after they got that rebound?

* Great to see the guys gather around K instantly at the end of the game.

* Of course everyone has seen this coming, but the ACC title is really going to come down to the Duke/UNC game. You know, the game with all the recruits there? The game that might determine a number 1 seed? No pressure, no pressure.

* 800. Congrats to Coach K; we Dukies couldn't ask for a better coach and man to represent us on such a big stage.

The Ultimate Truth; The Jackets Get Stung (by Truth!)

Whelp, as spring follows winter, so too do The Ultimate Truths follow a Duke win over Georgia Tech!!!

* The Ultimate Lord likes Paul Hewitt. Unlike Al Skinner, who looks like a horse. Speaking of Paul, was the mic near him turned WAY up tonight, or is he just very loud?

* Mo' Miller, mo' problems.

* Duke has had some great ally-oop dunks this year, but man we don't seem to have those long, open-floor dribble dunk type of guys.

* ZUNK!!!

* The Ultimate Lord likes Causey. In fact, The Ultimate Lord has a soft spot for most hard working, scrappy, full of heart white boys. Ru-dy, Ru-dy, Ru-dy!

* Remember when Aminu, before he even wore a Wake Forest uniform, took a steaming crap all over Tim Duncan? Hah!

* BTW, because The Ultimate Lord forgot to mention this last game; that tech on Zoubek was CRAP. Zoubek was literally saying to the ref "Do you see what he is saying to me?" and then the ref blew a T and Zoubek thought he had finally been avenged! What a load of total crap.

* Like the behind the back dribble by King, but a missed layup?!?! The Ultimate Lord places the responsibility of King's recent shooting cold streak on K's hit-or-miss style of playing him; shooters need to play and get some consistent touch or they lose that ability to stroke it.

* Diversity of the ACC? Heh, unless this is a story about Duke playing six white guys, The Ultimate Lord will believe it when He sees it. Or maybe it is a story on the racial make-up of teams coached by an African American head coach? Hm nope, that is taboo.

* Seriously? Judgement Week? Next week: ESPN features "Follow the Yellow Brick Road... to March Madness! Week," brought to you by Kay Jewellers; every kiss begins with Kay!

* Heh, the guys in the Bud Light ad REALLY got their cheese up!

* Uh, yeah Gerald's ally-oop was nice, but the one hand shovel pass by Paulus was UNREAL!! Greg has real QB eyes.

* BTW, not only has Greg stayed good at the 3, but he is leading the ACC in assist to turnover. Considering how badly folks were riding him, The Ultimate Lord thinks Greg has answered those questions. Really improved handle, too. It seems like in every game that an announcer says "We got to the arena blah blah early, and Greg Paulus was already here practicing his shot/dribble/free throws." Greg really has been working hard to improve; kudos!

* Heh, anyone notice in the VCAST add that for a billionth of a second you can see that Maryland has beaten UNC 82-80? Good. Not great. But good. Somewhere some Maryland fans are burning stuff!

* Mo G-Tech style athletes, mo' problems.

* Still, 3 > 2.

* (in a thick Scottish accent) We have a Devil down, we have a Devil down!

* How many of you watch ESPN feeds but listen to the radio play-by-play? Apparently K was lighting into King in the huddle.

* College sports >>>>>>>>>>>>> Pro sports

* Gerald is really not going to the midrange pull-up at all.

* Is that Wojo going to Causey's aid at the half? The Ultimate Lord supposes it might be... members of LSWGA DO have to stick together!

* By the by, LSWGA = Little Scrappy White Guys of America. Turns out it wasn't Wojo tho.

* Heh, Dickie V in a Hooters commercial = KLASSIC, BABY! NOW PASS ME SOME BREASTS... SOME CHICKEN BREASTS, BABY!!

* The Ultimate Lord loves video games in TV broadcasts. Wierd that they didn't, you know.. actually USE the video game to show anything, but instead just used it as a background for a graphic.

* Mo Miller, mo aggressiveness?

* Paulus is much better when he looks to score both off the dribble AND off the 3. He started to do that more as the preseason OOC games wound down... maybe he felt more comfortable with the foot?

* Whoa, that Matt Causey eyes-rolled-back look was SCARY. Like, Undertaker scary.



Was he just testing his eyes? Or was that unintentional? The Ultimate Lord has to believe he was just trying to shake the visual cobwebs loose.

* Since the losses started it has felt like Demarcus has been kind of quiet. Stats look about at his average tho, so not sure where that feeling has come from.

* GTech has gotten blown for some real questionable fouls.

* The problem, Len, is you can hurt your team more than you can help?! THAT is the problem? Not that he is risking further injury, but that he could hurt his team?

* Speaking of Causey, the production truck has apparently dedicated a camera to Causey; Causeycam! They are just PRAYING for his head to spin around and spit split-pea soup.

* "Under Coach K, Duke has dominated the ACC like nobody has." Heh. Eat that, you Carolina pansies.

* Great between the legs save by Gerald!

* On the next save, Gerald's foot hit the barricade between court and fans before he threw the ball; does that count of out of bounds, or do you have to touch the FLOOR? Inquiring minds want to know!

* Mo Matt Causey eye rolling, mo ESPN happiness.

* Lance is currently on a plateau; not improving, not getting worse. Or maybe it is a butte. Or a mesa?

* Ahhh, stall ball; thank god!

* "What are we talking about?!" Okay, that argument over the backcourt was wierd enough (not to mention pointless; it wasn't a backcourt because the ball never got to the front court, it is pretty simple) but man, when Stacy chimed in with a "Dude, what the hell are you guys talking about?" it hit a WHOLE NEW PLATEAU (or butte, or mesa) of wierd.

* UNC is going to be a real damn handful.

* Sorry, but The Ultimate Lord is NOT convinced that there has ever been a Duke player more athletic than Gerald. Not Grant, not Corey, not Johnny, not Dhantay.

* BTW, speaking of Gerald, his D is really great.

* Not hitting 3s... is it bad luck, other teams playing good perimeter D, or... the dreaded TIRED LEGS? Inquiring minds want to know!

And finally...

* 799. Congrats, and thanks Coach.

The Ultimate Truth; Suck my Johnny

WELCOME, Ultimate Faithful!

The Ultimate Lord knows that the flock has been yearning for... indeed, NEEDING some Ultimate Truths of late! But fear not; ye have passed through the darkest of times (2 losses in a row; we are one spoiled fan base!) and have emerged into The Light that is known as Duke basketball and known as...

THE ULTIMATE TRUTHS!


* Jon starts for the first time this year. Interesting. Wonder if pre-start K sat with him and said "Time to step it up and be a leader on this team?"

* So... wow Hi-Def. Never seen the Crazies look so good, or Kyle so pale and beat up.

* Lance gets stuffed. A lot. He also pump-fakes. A lot. Coincidence? Or would he get stuffed even MORE if he DIDN'T pump fake at all? One thing is for sure; we will never know.

* Bachman Hard Sourdough Pretzels = The Ultimate Pretzels.

* Man, Greg had to sit pretty fast. Still, will be fun to see how Nolan responds!

* The Ultimate Lord has your pretty looking lefty stroke right here, Raftery.

* Putzouback! Nice to see the big guy out there! Of course, it was promptly followed by a Zoufacial, but whatever, Brian looks much more smooth and comfortable out there.

* There is this one blond cheerleader they have shown a few times who looks even MORE radiant in HiDef. The Ultimate Lord is in love! Or at least in lust.

* Hm. Might as well retire the Troy/Brad Pitt jokes for the year. Well... maybe if the wrist is like 65%, The Ultimate Lord will just use 65% of the phrase. "Gerald, take it, i!"

* Jesus Bill looks like The Ultimate Kindly Grandfather. Almost makes The Ultimate Lord regret the lefty stroke joke. Almost.

* Gerald might not be able to shoot, but those legs ain't hurt! Speaking of his injury, anyone notice that no one is helping him up by the right hand?

* Duke takes more than their share of 3s? Hm, didn't know all teams only got a certain share of them. We probably also have more than our fair share of wins and titles. So sue us. Or just bitch about the refs, that is what everyone else does.

* Nice to hear some references to the original fans, The Crazies. The Ultimate Lord is sick of the Izzone and all those other wannabes.

* Uh, are The Ultimate Lord's eyes decieving him, or is that a skinny white Johnny?! Whoops, back to the bench with you, white boy!

* Beautiful bounce pass for the reverse lay-up by that St. Johns player, but 3 is still > than 2.

* Gotta respect the refs for really calming and addressing the St. Johns coach after that T.

* Nolan has particularly good hands and handle when recovering a fumbled, still active ball.

* B.S. call on that charge call on Demarcus in the first; clearly the result of the St. J coach working the refs with that technical.

* Okay, the drunk flying brother getting sucked into the jet engine made The Ultimate Lord snicker.

* 8 oz weights. Hah! The Ultimate Lord bets Raftery is probably a fun guy to shoot the breeze with.

* GREAT hop-step pump-fake pause by Singler to get the defender to fly past him, and a GREAT running hook. Singler is so old school it is awesome.

* Speaking of Kyle; 6'6?

* Hm, Ultimate Props to the production truck for the new graphic "1 field goal in the last (countdown of time here.)" More more accurate than the old "1 field goal in the last 6:24" which is basically obsolete in one second.

* Man that cheerleader is adorable. What is her name? Reminds me of Erika Christensen.

* WHOA reverse angle on that replay of the Scheyer three! WTF? The Ultimate Lord has NEVER seen the reverse TV angle. Where did that come from?

* Zoubek is doing much better staying on his feet when defending; that has gotten better all year.

* Shame that one-hander at the buzzer didn't count. At least we got to see the Kyle Smile! BTW, speaking of Kyle; that guy really gets smacked around every game. Tough kid.

* Damn enlarged prostate.

* Interesting when King was basically open for a long, ill-advised three, and he gave it up to Greg who promptly took the same shot. Wonder what the thought process for both guys was?

* Speaking of King, that guy has a LOT of enthusiasm when he is on that bench. He is the first to jump up and start cheering. He isn't going anywhere.

* Ahhh Bill Cartwright; The Ultimate Lord remembers him well from the old NBA 93 game!

* "TV doesn't do his size justice." Who is he, the Big Show? Are his hands like skillets?

* "The Landlord would be a great asset." Ya think?

* Why is a ticky tack foul called a "nickel and dimer?" Heck, why is it called a ticky tack foul?

* Sit Kyle; he is a freshman, we gotta avoid the freshman wall. Let him rest, get Taylor some burn!

* Ask and you shall recieve!

* Nolan is smart; had a few drives where he could tell that a Duke player was in excellent rebounding position. That thinking-ahead basketball IQ is SO important to be an effective driver.

* Word from the bench; apparently K feels that Taylor is doing all the little things well. Shame he didn't hit those two 3s!

* "A pretty stroke." "Deflection from the rear." "Give it a smooch." "Grab from the rear." "A real stud." Man, Bill Raftery is SO gay.

* Speaking of SO, St. John's is SO young. NINE freshmen. That is pretty insane. Also, very interesting how St. Johns is such a city based team. Ten guys from New York. What other schools recruit so heavily within their own region?

* Lance has absolutely no chin whatsoever. Maybe he can draw himself one?

* Speaking of Lance, seeing him and Zoubek out there at the same time is real, real interesting. Almost like K is accepting he has to develop a little traditional basketball game... as long as Gerald can recover in time for March, maybe his injury won't be all bad in that it will lead to some mixing it up and developing of other schemes?

* Speaking of March... the NCAA tournament was a lot more fun when players stuck around for awhile. It is a lot less fun when the one-and-done wonderkids make all the difference.

* Love the "Ole ole ole ole!" chant on the kick ball.

* That went IN?! Jesus Gerald can JUMP. The Ultimate Lord didn't even SEE that.

* Speaking of that ally oop, tho, anyone else notice how quickly Gerald let go of the rim with that injured wrist? Poor kid, hope he can recover a bit this year, although apparently surgery will be required in the off season.

* Anyone else hear the "Please don't shoot Lincoln!" chant when Boothe was at the line? No? Was it just The Ultimate Lord?

* Shame that they are discussing moving the broadcasters down to the floor if they renovate Cameron. Hope that never happens; The Ultimate Lord isn't sure how He would cope without that traditional shot of the crows nest each game. Maybe they can compensate by using some of the opposite side camera they used in that Scheyer replay?

* Zou zou? Seriously? Isn't that the little girl from "It's a Wonderful Life?"

(As a matter of fact, it is, and here is a signed doll of her you can own for yourself.)

http://cgi.ebay.com/Its-a-Wond...1QQcmdZViewItem

* The Ultimate Lord wonders: are the chairs on the bench regular size? It always seems like the big guys are sitting with their knees jacked up to their chins; couldn't someone take a break from making a thousand personalized weights for the basketball center and make some, like, extra big folding chairs for the players?

* Lee kissing the floor = one of the best senior moments ever.

* Zouzou's hands = much improved.

* As a fan, even tho the head hears and understands "recovering from an injury," the heart doesn't always get it, so it is nice to see Brian really coming along nicely.

* Late in the game and the lineup is King, Zoubek, McClure, Smith, and Davidson. Ten bucks says some sissy Hole over at IC starts a thread titled "Dook leaves starters in until the end, stupid Dook!"

* Damn; the first African American player in Duke basketball history graduated in 1969? Does that seem REALLY late, or is The Ultimate Lord just crazy?

And finally...

* Her name is Cameron W. She is working towards a major in art history, and two minors; one in Biology and one in Chemistry. The Ultimate Lord senses a beautiful, classically educated doctor!

http://www.goduke.com/ViewArti...p;ATCLID=562102

The Ultimate Truth; time to riot, Terps!

Hello, Ultimate Faithful!

Whelp, The Ultimate Lord is recovering from a night of brazilian steakhouses and T&Ts, so He is a little too tipsy for TOO many Ultimate Truths... but then again, what is a game against Maryland without them!?! So... The Ultimate Lord brings you just a handful of medium rare, Tanguery-soaked... ULTIMATE TRUTHS!!

* A... hm, what do you call it when two teams play? You know, when one doesn't like the other? And they play a few times, and it is intense? And the fans hate each other? Starts with an "r," ends in a "y?" Repeatedly? Regardlessly? Redickulously? Jesus H. Senior moment, Mike Patrick. Thank god for the guy in the truck whispering it in his ear. And where did those glasses come from, Mike? Are you maybe going shooting after the game?

* More intense than UNC? Oh come on, we know ESPN is trying to build up this "rivalry," but give The Ultimate Lord a break.

* What the heck happened to General Greivis? Did someone punch him in both eyes, or is the glare of the lights so bad that he puts a little cork under each one before the game? Or is he just badly in need of a bar of Irish Spring and a washcloth? Don't forget to scrub off that crap on your chin too, Greivis!

* Our three point shooting is insane. Very interesting to watch how K balances a lack of size with the sheer power of the waterfall of 3s. Hope all the guys don't go cold all at once... in a one-and-done, that would suck.

* Osby's fro continues to terrify.

* Gary continues to terrify.

* It seems that as of late Duke has changed the entire art of rebounding. Rather than simply depend on being bigger, Duke players have changed their rebounding form to jump (we have great jumpers) and punch the ball AWAY from the assumed point of rebound, depending then on a second jump and on excellent positioning to regain control of rebounds. Very interesting tactic to overcome a lack of simple height. Another reason Coach K should win Coach of the Year.

* The Ultimate Wife felt very bad when the Crazies began a "Sweat Gary, sweat!" She felt it would make sweaty people everywhere very self-conscious. And then she started to sweat.

* Great use of McClure on Osby, and a real smooth move to take him to the hoop. In fact, our guys seem to adjust to failures of the defense VERY very smoothly, even down to adjusting when a defender slips a touch or just gets off-balance.

* Nice Zoublock on his first play! Keep it up, Brian!

* Lance has really cut down on those hedge-out-fouls that he used to call defense.

* Screw Van Gundy.

* Gerald, The Ultimate Lord hasn't been able to make a Troy joke in like... two games. Come on... just... take it. Come on... just reach your hand out... all gentle... and take it. It's yours. Come on now. Brad Pitt jokes are money!

* Kyle is just so, so smart. Smartest freshman since... jeez, Battier?

* Gary still has the fire of 30 years ago? Dude, Dick; that isn't fire. That is mother f'in CRAZY it what that is, and crazy doesn't go away with age.

* Whoa. Did Dick just say that Osby rides a bicycle around campus? Uh... is that as racist as it sounds, or is The Ultimate Lord just being a little over-sensitive?

img267/9725/osby1qe1.jpg

* Jon Scheyer is so much more athletic than anyone gives him credit for. All the haters like to say he isn't athletic at all, and The Ultimate Lord is left wondering what basketball player they are watching.

* Dick's grandkids wear the jersey of whatever team is the home team? Surprise, surprise surprise! Like granddad, like grandkid!

* Vasquez is shooting his team right out of it. Seriously, how do you go so long without getting Gist and Osby a touch? Same with UNC in the last game; you CANNOT let so many possessions go by without getting the bigs a touch. Gary should really make that point a bit more clearly, rather than spend the time bellowing at his assistant.

* Taylor King really is the most emotional guy on that bench.

* Always awesome to see K urging the crowd to get the hell up!

* Funny to hear the crowd chant "Not our rivals!" just as Mike Patrick is making a comment about beating a rival.

* So. Joe Harrington, eh? Well, at least we have a name to put with the spittle-covered face.

* Having Kyle handle the ball when stall-balling it is just great.

* And finally; what a season of revelation. Yes, revelation for the young guys, but most importantly for Greg and Demarcus. First, Greg: Freshmen year he comes into the ACC and leads the league in assists. But he also has a ton of turnovers, and it is hard to judge him when he is on a team with JJ and Shelden and McBob. Then comes last year, where he struggles with a bad wheel but we never quite figure out how much the bad wheel creates the struggle. And this year we come in with so many questions; and DAMN has Greg answered them. There is straight up not a single Duke fan anymore who would ever TRY to argue that Nolan should start, and to be able to prove every single doubter, no matter their passion, wrong is a big, big deal. Good on Greg. And as for Demarcus; again, years partially hidden by the mist of injuries. What would he be like uninjured, as a senior? Spectacular. Strong, fast, and determined, Demarcus has gotten better and better even just this year.


Good game. Always fun to beat Maryland.

Searching for The Ultimate Truth; Maryland fans

Whelp, with Maryland coming on over to Cameron in a few days, The Devils Den has, of course, seen an influx of Terps coming over here, behaving in typical Terp fashion. Generally the Terp fans who post here are aggressive and bitter and rather immature. In fact, that is the view we get of MOST Terps, who revel in turning their arena into a most un-family-friendly environment and in destroying their college "town", win or lose. They giggle at getting banned at the Duke forum, they rain curses down on opposing players (despite the rather feeble protests of their administration) and water bottles down on opposing player families (despite the rather feeble protests of their security.)

So, The Ultimate Lord thought now was as good a time as ever to have the definitive discussion:

What sets the Terp fan apart from the rest of the ACC fans?

Now, of course ALL schools have their RFB, or their Retard Fan Base. UNC has them, State has them... yes, even Duke has them. Fans who seem to root more for an opponent to lose than their own team to win, fans who angrily mock and curse, fans who engage in immature smack talk with opposing fans in some desperate attempt to prove they belong... fans who generally embarass their fellow fans with their behaviors and their attitudes.

But the sheer number of them at The University of Maryland at College Park, and the bitter, vitriolic anger they seem to have, appears to dwarf all the rest.

So... what causes this?

*Is it a simple inferiority complex? Maryland is perfectly acceptable for a public school, and a top 100 university. However, when compared to powerhouses like Duke, Maryland doesn't quite stack up, either in terms of education or achievement, and this is reinforced every time Dick Vitale talks about the accomplishments of the epitome of basketball fans, the Cameron Crazies, and every time another beautiful shot of the Chapel of or Cameron Indoor is shown. Does going to an inferior school in a decidedly ugly and unwelcoming environment breed a serious, deep inferiority complex in Terp students?

*Is it purely "We have lost to you for so long we are bitter?" Maryland has long been a second rate ACC team and barely a blip on the national radar, especially being saddled by sharing a conference with such legendary programs as Duke and UNC. Then Maryland hit a tiny bump with a few good players and a sudden national title, creating a "generation" of grads who thought this was what was to come, that this was Marylands rightful and deserved spot in the basketball universe. Of course Maryland fell apart afterwards and returned to its traditional mediocrity, as everyone but a core of Terps expected. But was this tiny taste of excellence so sweet that without it the Terps were reduced to adject bitterness? And was this bitterness even more bitter because they watched Duke continue its stratospheric success after its own down time?

*Is it a reflection of their coach? Gary Williams has long been known as a bitter, obsessed man. His failed marriage was haunted by stories of Gary, angry and alone, sleeping in his car. His career has been haunted with almosts and so-closes, and in the end Gary has always turned, screaming and cursing and full of anger, to outside forces to explain his failures. It has always been the refs or the league or the media or even his own players and his own staff; never GARY. The Ultimate Lord would wager that in his failed marriage, it probably wasn't Gary's fault either, in the end. Gary rarely takes charge, and rarely accepts responsibility for things he doesn't want to. Remember the whole "Gary will get the Terp fans to be nicer?" thing? And how did that work? And does this tendency to blame failure on others, to avoid shouldering responsibility, to feel like somehow the universe ripped him off, somehow get reflected in the Terp fans, who embrace the bitter, angry coach and somehow decide that the universe has ripped THEM off?

*Or does something about The University of Maryland at College Park just invite a less-classy individual? The Ultimate Lord finds this the least likely explanation, especially since He knows a few Terps who are lovely people... but maybe someone knows something The Ultimate Lord doesn't know? (Hard to believe, of course...)

Maybe The Ultimate Lord is wrong. Maybe the "vocal minority" at The University of Maryland at College Park is just more vocal than most. Maybe with such a huge enrollment there are simply more OF them. But somehow Terp fans always seem to reinforce the stereotype, be it with riots or entire student bodies ignoring their ineffectual administration and repeatedly embarassing their university at nationally televised sporting events.

When you look at the hatred some UNC fans feel towards Duke, there are deeper issues, class issues and North/South issues. But with Maryland, what is it? Is it one of these theories? A mix? Something else? If there are any sane Terp fans around who wish to contribute, please do. And for the rest of the Duke fans, with so many Terp fans around here over the next few days, there is ample time to consider; what do YOU think?

The Ultimate Truths: Down goes Carolina!

AHHHH HA HA HA HA!!

The Ultimate Lord revels, like all Dukies everywhere, drunk on a Duke victory over the Holes from the Heel!

And so, of course... how could we have an Ultimate Victory without some... ULTIMATE TRUTHS!!!

* Go to Hell Carolina, Go To Hell!

* Place didn't seem that hot tonight. Thought that the crowd would bring the deafening boos every single moment Gerald touched the ball, like Greg got at Maryland (wasn't that a wierd one?) Strange.

* Cannot BELIEVE Ty-ty didn't play. Also cannot believe he has such a girly nickname.

* The Ultimate Best Friend didn't wear the "Go To Hell Carolina" shirt this year, for the first time in 12 years. Instead, according to him, "The Duke shirt has been good to me this year." He better not screw this up.

* Seriously? Showing that... rather girly... dance? If that were a Duke guy The Ultimate Lord would hide His Glorious Face in total, utter shame. And these morons mock two guys bumping chests? Yikes. However, the nickname "Broadway Danny Green" is a classic.

* Go to Hell Carolina, Go To Hell!

* Henderson wins the tip. Good start.

* And the first play is a 3 by Paulus right over QT? Oh, that is right on SO many levels! Let us count!

1) That it was Greg scoring, to rub it in because the Holes think he sucks.
2) That it was a 3, which the Holes are terrified of.
3) That it was over their third stringer, who the Holes hope against hope won't cost them the game.

* Getting the first four NCAA games in North Carolina is a MUCH bigger deal for UNC than for Duke; much more of a home court advantage for them.

* Let us play "Caption this picture." Up first?


"Tyler pulls his clue for Charades and gets "Angry Goldfish."

* Coaches are definately more subdued this year compared to last.

* Hans really can get the ball in the basket no matter what is going on from within 7 feet. The Ultimate Lord would have been perfectly content if Tyler had been a Duke man instead of a Carolina tool.

* A recipe for lasagna? Seriously? Ahhhh Dick, we've missed you!

* Go to Hell Carolina, Go To Hell!

* Can anyone explain what happened when Nelson got the foul, Carolina scored, and kept the ball?

* It is amazing that K really has seemed to figure out the math of basketball in a 2pt vs 3pt world. He has figured out that a wave of 3s can statistically overcome a real good, pounding 2 pt team and managed that so carefully. Brilliant.

* Kickass to see Nate James behind the bench.

* Singler; what a mature, mature game! A one handed rebound that just blew The Ultimate Lord away! Great smart D, took Tyler outside... overall so, so complete, especially for a freshman.

* Please, STOP with the TOTALLY bogus "It was a five second call!" calls. Seriously, could you please, you know, actually watch the game?

* Wow, Dick REALLY dodged actually taking a stand on that Hansbrough charge call; "Everybody loves Raymond?" Dick, your broadcast partner just asked you a question!

* Anyone see Roy do the Madonna, "Hung Up" arm roll dance?

* Cryolina fans are copying the Cameron arms-in-the-air free throw move. Schmucks.

* Hans... called for a TRAVEL?!?! Good work K, keep on those refs!

* Lance Thomas may have taken a few sideways steps in recent games, but wow he took the kitten-saving, 28-to-84, game winning ladder tonight! Really stepped up, some good D and good O. Amazingly he seemed to have done the exact OPPOSITE of what he was quoted as saying, namely something along the lines of "I'll foul every time to stop the basket." A little disinformation?

* Go to Hell Carolina, Go To Hell!

* The rap playing over the GP 3 going to commercial feels out of place.

* Speaking of Greg; looks like the ol'fainting goat whupped some Carolina ass, eh? Suck it, fans of the Hole.

* Some missed free throws by Gerald; a sign of the pressure, or nothing?

* Speaking of Gerald; he can jump out of the GYM. Some of his blocks (and even his almosts) are just ridiculous; he just rises from behind a cloud of jerseys to blot out the sun!

* Some missed free throws by Tyler; a sign of the pressure, or nothing?

* Jesus. Those rocks on Sean May's ears are RIDICULOUS. You could feed the entire of Sudan for a week on just one of those things. Bling it up, Sean!

* Should we make fun of their coach collapsing like they did of K? Nah, let us leave the classy stuff to the UNC fans.

* Game in many ways went as predicted. Duke shoots well from 3 and plays good D on the UNC guards. UNC pounds it low but gets turnovers at the point. Not predicted; Nelson being saddled with fouls and Green and Ellington sucking it up.

And finally...

* It is a great day when Duke wins and Carolina loses, and the best of days when they both happen at the same time.

Go Duke!

The Ultimate Truth; feeling no pressure pre-Carolina

The Ultimate Lord has been poring over this feeling for awhile now; let Him see if He can explain.

Coming into this season, this Duke team had more question marks than any Duke team in recent memory. Could Greg bounce back and prove that he was indeed worthy of being a D1 point guard? Could Demarcus step up after years of disappointment? Would the freshmen contribute, or fall apart in the intense heat of the ACC? Would Lance and Brian become... heck, even decent? Was Duke at the beginning of a massive decline that would end in Duke exploding and sinking into the grounds of North Carolina and Coach K turning into dust like the bad guy from the third Indiana Jones movie?

Carolina, on the other hand... yikes. The amount of chest thumping going on in that feminine-blue wonderland was jaw-dropping. Talk of Ty being the greatest point guard ever, an NBA super-freak in baby blue. Talk of Tyler being the greatest Carolina player ever. Talk of Deon and Alex blossoming into a truly dominant big man duo. Talk of Ellington and Green being amazing, the best guards in the conference. And talk of Carolina being THE team to beat... heck, some fans basically handed UNC the title long before the season even began.

And then reality came a-knocking, and questions were answered. And lo and behold... Greg bounced back in style, and was supported by a super frosh point guard. Demarcus stepped up to be one of the best, if not THE best, seniors in the country. The freshmen had a bigger impact than most freshmen, collectively, in Duke history. And much to our chagrin, Thomas and Zoubek struggled mightily. So we were left with a Duke team that was super tough, FAR stronger than any of us could have hoped, and we sit now with a record that NO one could have predicted.

However, there is still that un-answered question down low, a weakness that everyone still sees and just hopes won't bite us. And indeed a weakness that in some ways makes a Duke win over UNC difficult to imagine.

Carolina, on the other hand, has performed about as expected... if maybe a touch worse. Yes they have a gaudy record, and yes their individual players have largely played well, but for some reason Carolina has faltered a bit... suspicious D and underachieving bigs and some skin-of-their-teeth wins... but still Carolina has the potential to be SO good at every position; they just need to perform that way.

So The Ultimate Lord comes into this game a fan of a team that has overachieved in the most spectacular fashion in Duke history, a team that is a point away from being undefeated despite playing a super-small lineup that leans heavily on young, unproven players. And The Ultimate Lord cannot help but think that the pressure is all on Carolina, having crowed from the rooftops how superior they are and how badly they will beat Duke and how they will OWN the league... and now they have to prove they can do it against a line-up that, on paper, shouldn't be able to give them a game.

So the pressure is on, UNC. The pressure is on, Tyler and Ty and Dancing Danny and you loudmouth UNC fans. Little ol'Dook, with its crappy white point guard and its thug Henderson and that face-freak Scheyer and its total lack of big-boy muscle and its gaunt freshman "center," indeed a team wobbling on the peak of collapse, walks into the Dean Dome, 19-1, first in the ACC, and ready to REALLY ruin the day for some UNC fans. And even if UNC wins... well, to be honest, they SHOULD have won against THAT line-up, no?

So no pressure.

Go to Hell Carolina, Go to Hell.